Bright's thoughts

Dino land

2011-12-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

I ahve become addicted to Pinterest and found this http://atsecondstreet.blogspot.com/2010/03/dino-land-suitcase-and-tutorial.html She gives a great tutorial!

I thought it would be PERFECT for Bryan who had gotten a great T-Rex for his birthday a few weeks ago. So I decided to tackle it. I really didn't know if I could pull it off. WALLA!!! It worked fabulously, if I do say so myself. I used a reddish brown primer so mine is more of a red than hers but I like it!!

I have discovered that the "great stuff" insulation foam stuff is incredible! Fun to work with but also infuriating at the same time. Yes, that CAN happen. It puffs up when you walk away and when you come back your case won't close. So, I had to do a lot of trimming. I made TWO of these. One is for a white elephant gift. The party I am going to isn't the "normal" gag gifts so I thought I would go with the envy gift this year. Or so I think. Haha. Everyone has kids or grandkids, right?

AtSecondStreet she has some great stuff. You should check out her blog. I can't come up with this stuff but I sure do enjoy running with someone eles' idea. :)

Goodbye Nala (graphic warning)

2011-09-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

The past 22hrs have been excruciating. 22hrs ago we were sitting down to a late dinner after helping buck hay. Ramen Noodles, the dinner of champions, ya know. We heard this HORRIBLE noise. None of us had a clue what it was. Someone said "It sounds like someone is dieing. Little did we know it was OUR dog! Scott went out to investigate. He was gone for a few minutes and when he came in, he had this look. I said "Do I need to come?". "yes" was the answer I popped up and threw shoes on. When I went outside I saw a car in the middle of the road with a dog BEHIND it. My thought was it was Danny and Nala was sitting there worried. When I went up the boy (17) driving said "she ran out in front of us". It took a minute to realize he was refering to my dog. She was on the ground mangled. Her back legs were a twisted mess. Not much blood but you could hear her troubled breathing. I thought the problem was just her legs. Later I found out differently.

The poor lady with her son got out to help Nala and Nala traumatized reacted with adrenaline and bit her badly. The lady was part of the noise we heard, the other part was Nala being burned by the exhaust system UNDER the car. Michael and Lisa (my dear neighbors and brother in law and sister in law) took Debbie in and treated her wounds. She was going into shock, both for the wounds and what she had witnessed.

This morning I found out what had happened. She darted out in front of them. She can run super fast in a playful mood. I'm thinking she and Danny (M&Ls Dog) had been playing in the yards and she caught eye of something on the other side of the road and took off after it and didn't stop for the car. They couldn't stop in time and she went all the way under the car and the stopped when she was under the exhaust system. She was howling in pain and from the heat. Once they moved she stopped howling. THat is when Debbie when in to help. PSA: NEVER APPROACH AN INJURED ANIMAL.

Debbie spent several hours in the ER last night while we were at the Animal Urgent Care in Orem. I think we got there by 9, 45min after the accident. They did X-rays and found she hips and back were NOT broken but dislocated. I began to have hope until they showed us the x-ray of her chest. It was full of blood!!! The doctor said "That is NOT life threatening (referring to the hip) BUT, this IS". My heart sank. At that point I had no clue she had gone under the low riding BMW. I still thought she has been hit by the front bumper. I had no clue. She had no rectal temp and she was not responding to pain so my fear had been her back was broken.

I should have known it was worse because her breathing was SO labored. I thought it was from shock though. It got worse and her breathing stopped and the gave her cpr (how do you give a dog cpr??) but they could not get her back. Her body had had enough. The doctor said the 3 pain meds they administered weren't working enough and they could not get her settled. Scott was over at Sonic getting us drinks when they came out and told me. I was alone and needed Scott! I walked over and told Scott.

The prognosis was bad either way. If she lived it was possible that there was so much damage done to her spinal cord that she may not walk again, then we probably would have put her down. She is a dog who loves to run, CLIMB and jump, she would NOT be happy as a couch dog. Instead her lungs filled with blood and her internal injuries were too extensive and it prevented us from even being able to make that choice.

I know my kids were at home praying she would be okay. They had no idea what the damage was. I told them it was her legs and to me that was fixable. i feel horrible for them thinking their prayers were not answered. We have talked extensively about asking that "HIS will be done". Wise Lindsey did make the distinction today that "it was better for her to pass" knowing her injuries better today.

It has been a long day today. I know Nala does NOT have rabies but since I have a in family vet I have gotten free shots for years!!! Unfortunately I don't have records. I can't prove she is current. Since she died they wanted to test her. They test ALL deceased canines involved in bite cases. The clincher there is they have to test the brain and they don't take the whole body and give it back. They remove the head and get rid of the body. The body just takes up space. So at lunchtime today I found out they needed Nala's HEAD. We brought her home to bury her today. So a nice Deputy came and took her away and brought her back in a bag without a head!!!!! This kills me!!! My baby without a head. I didn't look in the bag so for all I know she isn't in there and I buried some one else's animal. Her new home is under a tree in the pasture.

I haven't cried for long. I cry A LOt but only in short spurts. I haven't had much time alone. Writing this is the longest I have been alone for minus sleep (what I got of that). I have been mad, mostly at the insurance people. I hate that I have to handle them. I have issue with the SF agent that called and didn't even say "I'm sorry for your loss". She was short with me and when I said "I DID lose my dog when your clients hit my dog" she as "oh I know". UGH! So my insurance is paying for her ER visit and any follow up because she was dumb enough to reach down and try to help her. See...I'm angry. I would have done the same thing though. I hate that the car was a BMW and rode low and that my dog RAN out in front of a car at night. I'm mad at the dumb situation! Why could she have NOT been inside like she normally is at that time of night? UGH!

I want everything the way it was 24hrs ago please. I want my Nala back!!! I want the grave in my back yard to be gone and I want to step on my dog's nose in the morning like I do every morning. I want to not feel the hole I have in my heart. I want it to be filled again. I know it will get better and I am praying hard for comfort. It seems to be fleeting though.

What is wrong with her?

2011-06-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

So, I noticed this one and the other buff orpington that is similar in size is like this. Is she molting or is it mites? So bizarre. I noticed the bald spots when I was dusting with DE the other day. My daughter took pictures while I held her. So strange!

He or she?

2011-04-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

I am posting this mostly to draw my chicken friends to. I want to see if anyone has an educated guess on if this is a Roo or a Hen. It is about 7wks old. A heritage bird. Mom is a black sexlink but not sure what dad was. That is all the info I have.

Editted to add two more pictures. Inky is with the smaller chicks in the other pictures. Here are two with him and two different easter eggers. The feet are the same size as the one in the door of the brooder. They are approximately a week apart maybe a week and half. I don't know for sure. I guess it could even be two weeks. ???

and yes that silly chick pooped on my dogs pillow. The cat sprayed it already, so I guess it is covered now. :(

I love spring!

2011-04-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

Out my side door facing west! This was this morning about 7:20AM. I am surrounded by beauty! I am thankful for the beauty of this earth! We are so blessed by a Loving Heavenly Father to see green and trees, flowers etc. of course they are not without the snow and rain. This may be a telestial world but it is beautiful to me, what a gift!!!

Milestones

2011-04-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been feeling down on myself. I've gained 10lbs since moving but I LOVE junk food so I haven't been really motivated to do anything.

After talking to a friend I decided to start running again. I asked Scott for new shoes for my birthday so I could get started with some new shoes, not run down ole things that I have had for a few years. I went into Runners Corner in Orem and they told me about some "new" shoes. When he said there are fewer injuries and easier on the knees, shins and ankles I REALLY wanted to like them. He called them ZERO DROP He had me wear a normal Asics like my old one and one of the Alta Instint. I immediately noticed the difference. I was SOLD!

After my first jump on the treadmill I had NO pain! In the past the first set of intervals had KILLED! This time, none! No knee pain, no shin pain, nothing! I wasn't even sore the next day! GASP! What was I doing wrong? No pain no gain, right? WRONG! Today, I turned 37 and ran my first mile in years. No intervals but actually moving without stopping to walk. WOHOOOO!

Two milestones, turned THIRTY SEVEN and ran a mile! WOHOOO!

Here are my clown shoes, Altra Intuition (stock photos)

I LOVE my shoes!!! :) NOW, if I could quit eating junk.

BTW, I started this post ON my birthday, but didn't finish it. Sorry that the pictures are so big. Some reason they aren't being resized.

Crayon box?

2011-04-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

*************Sorry the pictures are not being resized. I'm not sure how to fix that. Just click on the pictures and it will take you to a "normal" size.***************

Liberty?????

Nah, couldn't be.....

Absolutley is.

Liberty has found the crayon drawer. She loves to move them from one place to another. So fun to watch. Yes, I know I need to move them. The worst she has done is throw them away. These pictures are a few months old. I got a kick out of her thought process.

Monster Egg

2011-04-13T18:19:00.000-07:00

One of my chickens layed this monstrosity! Bigger than an AA battery and had two yolks. I can say it made a wonderful spinach, tomato and cheese omelet!

PICTURES SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE

Sorry, the pictures were lost. The egg was about 1/2 nch taller than a AA battery. I loaded the pcitures into picasa while there was a virus. I hit "Blog this" and it didn't post. Scott had picked up a virus and couldn't get rid of it. I lost the pictures when I left the picasa window open when I went back to an earlier date on the computer (forgot what it is called). So I lost about 40 pictures. Sigh!!!

lucky duck!

2011-03-19T20:43:00.000-07:00

Okay lucky CHICKS! This was my project today, Saturday (3/20/11). All by MYSELF!!!!!!! No man help other than my BIL figuring out how to take the safety off the chop saw for me. It is a brooder for my new chicks. I have a total of TWELVE now. CRAZY woman. It is 4 feet long and a little over 2 feet deep. It was fun but nerve wracking to build. I'm exhausted! I hope the chicks like it!

I'm a farm girl!!!!

2011-03-12T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have a thing

2011-01-30T21:10:00.000-08:00

For kitchens! They need cabinets and counters! Sounds like a no brainer, right? Well, not all builders think so. I added cabinets in my house in Santaquin. Silly builders! Women need space!!! Here are my two Utah kitchens. I love them both!!

the cabinets the builder put in.

The ones we added. So much better with these!

Here is my new kitchen.....I love the space. My favorite appliance? My double ovens!

Warmth!!!

2011-01-30T21:05:00.000-08:00

I love to be warm So does Bryan. Here is the new addition to the Jackson household. It takes my house from 63 to 72!!! I love this machine! For those of you who don't know what it is.....a beautiful pellet stove. they run on little wood pellets that burn and electricity to run the fan to blow the fan. Pellets come in 40# bags. LOVE THIS THING!!! The flames get high...what you see there is at start up. At start up too, it has a wonderful smell too. Oh I love this thing! Next winter we will have a wood burning stove down stairs too to help heat it down there and it will also cut down on the time this one runs. When running propane you have to come up with alternatives. It is pricey to run propane for your main source of heat!

She's ONE!!!

2011-01-30T20:50:00.000-08:00

It is hard to belive she is one. It has been a fun year. She went from sleeping everywhere we went to screaming tobeing happy. I prefer her happy! She has been such a joy in our house. She has such a sweet personality. she is full of smiles, constantly. Free to giggle and squeal in delight. She is opinionated (wonder where she gets that?). She is cuddly. She is smart and quick. I am thankful for her in my life. She makes life complete.

Senior white belt

2010-09-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Dejah had been wanting to take Karate for a year or so. It is rather funny thinking she wants to take a martial art. She is so timid everywhere but home. In July she started taking Taekwondo in Payson. Her teacher, Master Hanuman is amazing. He was a monk in India and he is VERY formal in his teaching. The kids learn the "old" style. I'm not sure how it is in other classes so I can't compare. I just know how he is with the kids. He is strict and kind. I'm not sure when he started teaching in Payson. His background is intensive and after all that he comes to teach kids. He has a special way. I have been impressed.

Dejah has really excelled and has become very good at her forms. She tested on the 28th and passed. She did amazing! She was very crisp in her form. I was amazed she did so well under pressure. She is developing into such a lovely girl. Last Wednesday he did the belt ceremony. To give you an idea on how committed he is to these kids, he was in a car accident in Spanish Fork about an hour (?) before class started and was taken to the hospital (Payson) via ambulance for observation. He has broken his back and neck in the past so they were worried about him. They put him through CT scans to rule out any reinjuries. They wanted to keep him but he told them he HAD to leave. They got a ride from the hospital to the gym for class. He got there the last ten minutes of class to present the belts. Unfortunately his dobok was in is car along the road in Spanish Fork. He had a concussion and back injuries BUT WANTED to be there to present the belts. He was!

When he presented Dejah's belt he told her "I think you are very smart. You have a natural talent and your smarts will make you better than me one day if you stick to this. You have excelled faster than my other students". She wasn't impressed, but I was. She is a very smart girl.

Sri Hanuman

hmmmm, I'm learning!

2010-09-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

Sometime last year I realized I was spelling "yesterday" wrong. Some reason I was spelling yesturday instead. Well, a little bit ago I realize I was spelling YAY, wrong. I decided to look up Yeah and found it is another way to say "yes". So, I guess it was MY way of saying "YES, alright!" I know there are others that I often misspell often it is more my fingers getting ahead of my brain. I am thankful when I use firefox because it lets me know when I miss a word. Which of course I'm not currently using. :) Hopefully when you see me somewhere online I will remember to spell Yeah right as "yay"! :) If I misspell it I AM saying "YES! Alright".

I did find a funny site with some misspelled signs. I guess I can be thankful I'm not in public like them. :) http://pages.prodigy.net/pizzabagel/MisspelledSigns.htm

THEN, I found this...bet you have seen it before.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

The above is my most common mistake. Scrambling letters in words. Looks right to me until I hit enter. :) Then OF COURSE I checked spelling and YAY was misspelled...so now what do I do? Darn Google!

"buying stock"

2010-08-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

My poor Lindsey went to school on Monday unprepared for all the life changing events that would happen this week. She started SEVENTH grade. If she was not going to Liberty she would be in Junior High and have to deal with a whole new school. Instead she is moving classes and teachers and having to figure out her locker at her "old" school. Still she had to make new friends. Her friends from last year all went to a new school or moved.

Monday, while at taekwondo in Payson I got a phone call with Lindsey on the other end MADDER than I have ever heard her. So mad she was just about in tears. "I'm never going to babysit again! They never listen!! Liberty's crying and Journey says it's MY job...............WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME!" Uh, wow! "I'll be home soon I'm talking to Dejah's instructor." She went on and on. I told her to "buck up and deal with the situation". She hung up on my I think. I quickly ended the conversation with her teacher and left. by the time I got home Lindsey was in a good mood. WOW! WHAT happened in that 15 minutes. She even apologized for being mean. I figured she was tired. We all were!

Tuesday after school she said "mom, can I talk to you in your room?". We went in and locked the door. She said "I think I started my period". That totally explained why my normally sweet girl was a roller coaster. Not only did she start school she entered into "womanhood". What timing! A time that is already filled with stress and confusion was just filled with more.... How do you make friends when you are snippy and not feeling good.

Yesterday she said "I wish I knew why my back was hurting". I asked her how long it had been hurting and where. I told her, I knew why and it would go away soon. "huh? Oh? Well that stinks!" I hope it isn't like that all the time for her. I asked if her tummy hurt too. "yes". POOR girl! First week of school so many changes! She has handled it like a pro though. I am so proud of her!

Now, it is the time to buy stock in Always brand. I have 4 more coming up in the next 12yrs. Three in 5.5 yrs. Wohooo! Scott is going to be hiking lots more in the next few years I'm sure. The joys of having 5 girls! One at a time though is the best way to handle it, right?

I hope next week is better for Lindsey!

His name is BOO

2010-08-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

And he likes to climb.

Dejah got a kitten right before we went to Yellowstone. She bought him from her cousin for $5 with her own money. She had been begging and begging for a new pet, one she could call her own. Scott let her get a kitten. I was shocked! I just knew he was going to say "no", so when I told her she had to ask dad I figured it was a sure way to get it shot down. He would be the bad guy, not me. That back fired! Really he is a cute kitten and I'm glad he is in our family.

Ella went through some serious moments with us all. She stopped coming inside and sleeping at my feet. She was letting us know she did NOT approve. She has since come around and puts up with him and even plays with him. Nala was in love at first sight. She wanted to lick him from day one. HE on the other hand had some warming up to do. Now, he rubs against her legs and purrs. Now all pets are happy.

School!

2010-08-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe summer is over and it is back to the grind! I can't believe I have a 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th grader!!! Bryan will start Kindy next fall, then I will just have Liberty at home. The girls were ALL so excited for the new school year. They got up so nicely and were ready early. We even got scriptures in. That only lasted the first day. I have dragged this week too so I understand the slower pace. We will do better next week!!! I am so proud of the girls. They have done so well this week!!! YEAH for school. They all LOVE Liberty Academy too. It was a great change for them. I'm glad we did it!

Wildlife in Yellowstone

2010-07-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

The buffalo are ALL over yellowstone. I have heard they are very aggressive! I'm happy that none we saw were. We had them walk out in front of the car in front of us. It would have been in front of us had we not let the people turn out in front of us. Some were take out of our car, others we got out and took pictures. A big horn sheep jumped up over a ledge we had just been looking over. It was GREAT! Scott was already in when I got the picture. The black bear was pretty far away, but I got a good picture with my zoom lens. There was a man from a forgein country that told us there was a beer. HUH? Then it clicked, BEAR! It was fun to watch!!

The buf

Prismatic Pools Yellowstone

2010-07-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe this can be created from below the surface! The colors are created by bacteria! There were blues, greens, reds, browns and yellows. The way the wind was blowing it was hard to catch the beauty of the large pool. There was steam settled over the large pool. Enjoy the pictures!

Saturday afternoon at the Jackson's

2010-07-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

Scott invited a coworker and his wife over for dinner on Saturday. They are from Portugul and she as fascinated with my kids. Here is the video she took. It was a great time and it was fun getting to know them.

Good Bye Heather!

2010-07-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

Almost 4yrs ago I met the new gal moving into the neighborhood. She had just closed on the house and was showing it to her parents. She was HUGE with child and due anyday. We have been friends since. She left this morning in her van following her husband in a big 26" Penske moving truck. Bryant is going to Northern Colorado University to get his Doctorate in Music Education! WOW! I can't even read music. This is a great move or them.

She was my go to friend. I would call her when I was mad or sad or happy. She was there when I needed a kick in the rear. She had no qualms of giving me that kick. She is fearless. I will miss her very much!

LAst night I had a crazy idea to break into her garage and saran wrap her van (thank you Amy). BUT, I didn't have a key nor did I RALLY want to BREAK in. Marybeth didn't have a key yet, so I opted for a sign instead. I had my talented and creative daughter, Lindsey draw out what I wanted. The girls did much of the painting. Marybeth and Corrie would have been there too. I know they would have been. A sick child kind of puts a damper on somethings. Marybeth got some miniture snickers of Bryant's drive and was going to pick up oreos, but I insisted on making them. YUMM! So, when they left to go get dinner last night at 9:30 Scott and I put the sign up and left the bag of goodies in the drive.

I watched for them to come home worrying they would just open the garage door and miss the sign and possibly run over the bag. I'm a worrier. They didn't run over the bag or miss the sign. I am glad Heather had on a big tee shirt last night. The gates were opened. Mine too. Heather, you are an awesome friend and I will miss you being across the street! Good luck and be happy!

The "BESTEST" helper!

2010-07-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

Journey is my one I can always count on for any help I need. She is always ASKING to help. "Mom, can I __________?" Sometimes it drives me crazy. Really I am so happy to take her up on the offer. I know I need to let her do what she can now and develop a strong sense of wanting to help and enjoying it. She LOVES to take care of Liberty. She adores her baby sister. She loves to feed her and does a great job, very little mess! She is the one who wants to go with me places. I'm not sure if she really likes to help or maybe she just wants to be with ME. I sure do enjoy her company. She is such a great little girl!

Her teacher had told me she if she wasn't in her class she wouldn't believe she was in Kindergarten. Her teacher took time off to have a baby and she left word for the subs if there was any issue or confusion on where things were or what something was to "ask Journey". Katie's teacher who was Journey's reading group teacher said similar things, she had to "remind herself Journey was "just" in Kindergarten. She is wise beyond her years I think.

I have been given so many gifts! Journey is one. I have 7 in one place, how lucky am I?

Talented Lindsey

2010-07-09T10:17:00.000-07:00

Last week Lindsey was making a picture out of rocks on our sidewalk. I am sad I didn't take a picture of it. It looked like a horse! I have been half heartedly looking for art classes for her. I have looked in the community ed catelogs that come in the mail and there isn't anything for kids. I could take a class, but not her. The other day I happened on a sign in someone's yard that said "Drawing classes". I was picking up boxes for my friend Heather and asked the gal whose house I was at if she knew anything about it. The guy teaches at a local school and has a studio in Payson. I was SO excited! She will be starting Drawing classes on Tuesday. She is already so talented I am happy she can be guided by someone who can direct her and help her with methods. She creates with everything! Rocks, clay, pencil, paint etc. She is awesome! Here is a dragon she did.

What's in your water?

2010-07-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

I bought a distiller for water. I really don't like the taste of tapwater anylonger. I can taste the chlorine...blech! I dont' want flouride in my water and the other naturally or unnaturally occuring stuff for that matter. Distilled water is called "hungry water" It will remove toxins from your body. Pretty cool! Anyway, this is what is in the gallon sized container after two gallons go through. NASTY!!!!

Distilling is God's way of purifying water. NOW, if I can just drink MORE!

Cookie crazy!

2010-07-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

June 30th we decided to make cookies! Katie and Journey decided to make flags. They wanted to use sprinkles to make them. It worked okay, but the colored frosting was a hit. It was crazy and time consuming but fun! We took some to some men that had served our country as a thank you. It was a great day.

Eyes!

2010-07-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

Check out this boys eyes! Bryan is my only child without blue eyes. I am thankful he is the one and not one of the girls. I can imagine later the girls saying "Why don't I have blue eyes like the rest of my sisters?". I don't know if that would really happen or not. But atleast being the only boy he gets to be different in another area too. To be honest I have no clue what color they REALLY are. They look just like the couch in this picture and when he wears an army green shirt they are a perfect match too. Whatever color they are, they are cool!

He is such a good boy! I sure am glad to have been able to have at least ONE boy. He is indeed a special gift. I'll keep him. ;)

Happy Father's Day!

2010-07-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

I saw this from a friend and thought "Hey we can do that!" Scott is always looking for "snacks". Since he is the tie that binds us. I found some KNOT paper and used that and wrote "You're the knot in our rope". He is pretty much a pro at knots so I thought it was fitting.

I am so thankful to Scott for being such a good father and husband. I am TRULY blessed! I love my Scott!

My surprise!

2010-05-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Scott ordered this for me to put on the suburban. I am a little wary about having our names on it. Other than that, I like it!!!

Facial cellulitis

2010-04-11T19:58:00.000-07:00

Leave it to me to get the weird things! This is the second time in a mont that I have been "blessed" with this strange ailment! The last day of antibiotics (shot) last time was March 18th. I had started with Augmentin and that didn't work. They gave me a good shot of rochepin (a peanut butter shot) and that seemed to make a big difference quickly. I went back and got another, after the second I noticed remarkable improvement. I was SO excited! Then on Monday it started foming back. So it lasted two weeks. The next week we just did Rocephin shots. OUCH! I went round and round with the insurance company about an IV versus shots. The doctor recommended the IV because it would be less pain. I opted for the shot when I realized that the ER visit for 5 days would be about $400-500 a day. OUCH. So I got 5 rocephin shots that week. It was so much better by that Friday (18). YEAH!

Fast forward to this past week. I was having similar pain and wrote it off as a sinus infection and I had my first migraine too. Fun week. Saturday I noticed swelling. Sure sign it was back!!! I went to the Dr yesterday (thank you for urgent care!!). They gave me a shot of rocephin and an RX for an oral antibiotic. Oh and they went fishing for my eyes through my nose! Ouch! THey claimed it was a swab to test for MRSA. Not sure I believe that or not. I think it was a form of torture! So now I sit and wait for the culture to come back to find out if it is MRSA or not. They said by Wednesday they will know. I fit isn't improving by tomorrow (Monday) I get to go back in. Not that I'm surprised! I was expecting to be hospitalized, depending on the drug choice and the way they administer it (every 3hrs or every 24) OR sent tot he ER for a pic line so I could go in there for IV treatments.

Currently, I look like this....

Murphy's law

2010-01-09T10:37:00.001-08:00

This past week has been crazy. I am thankful it went fast though.

It all started Sunday night with some contractions that just wouldn't go away. I woke in the middle of the night with them. I had been dreaming I was in labor. I was chatting with a friend and asking her questions about them. I have been told by some not so nice nurses at Mountain View Hospital that they weren't contractions. After a while I began to think maybe it was intestinal...the cramping I get from my crohn's is often similar. However they didn't want to go away. These contractions continued all week on and off.

I have had irritable uterus with 4 of my 6 pregnancies so contractions are nothing new. The number of them have been concerning this time around. Concerning because I have a few things against me. One, 4 of the five so far have been planned inductions, which means I didn't go into labor on my own. With the contractions I have and irritable uterus I don't really KNOW what it will be like. With Journey I contracted for months. I actually had NO CLUE that I was in labor when I went in for the planned induction. I was in my 36th week then.

When I went to the OB on Thursday they did cervix check and I was at 1-2cm and 75% effaced and wasn't even a full 36wks.

Yesterday I began contracting when I woke up. I was having mild contractions all morning. By 9ish I had 10 or so. I had some bloody show, which could be from the exam the day before or the coming of labor.

I had talked to my friend Heather and she said there was a website somewhere that you could count contractions and they would time them etc. After a while I decided to lay down and watch CSI on Netflix and count the contractions. I had just drank a big glass of water. I started counting at 10:24 and ended at 11:12. Int that period of time I had 16 contractions! The shortest one was 49 seconds and the longest was 3:44. By the end they were really hard and I had to breathe through them. At that point I decided I had better get in the shower. I wanted to be clean! They stopped! I knew it was early and Liberty should stay a bit longer but with all the contractions I was really hoping I would be done soon. In the next hour and 15 minutes I only had about 4-5. When I left to get my kids they began to pick up again. I had two 10min apart then they dropped to 5min. They all lasted about 2min or so. Then I called my friend Traci to give her an update on things and we talked and they began to come about every 2min. I was begining to think I should go get checked. Atleast call my Doc. I would do that when I got home.

I made a few more phone calls to update friends who I had been talking to. I called the Doc to see if I could go get checked in the office. I have a fear of the L&D after being told by the nurses they weren't contractions. I didn't want to go in and be told, they were nothing if I could go to the Doc's office and be checked. Well, he was gone. The Nurse Practioner said she would check me. Then after talking to her and her hearing my history she decided I just needed to go in and be monitored instead of just a cervical check. SO, more phone calls were made and I got ready to go. Still contracting.

When I was 20 I had surgery for endometriosis and the Gynecologist cut a nerve, the pre-sacral nerve. The nerve was to help with cramping and later in life in labor with contractions. When I went to a infertility specialist trying to concieve Lindsey (took 19mo) she was ALL excited to have a patient that had that done (nerve cut) she wanted me to tell her how it was for labor. Like I would KNOW any different. So I have wondered all along on the contractions if they were harder than I felt. I will never know.

On our way to the hospital, some contractions were getting hard enough I couldn't talk, or prefered to focus on them. They were about 5min apart. They were consistent until we got to the room for a labor check. Then they slowed considerably! I had ONE big contraction while there and lots of little ones. Nothing that was consistent. Nothing like I had been having all day!!! They did a cervical check (2X) and I was still at 1-2cm and 75%. I knew they would send me home and that is depressing. All the pain for nothing!

I know deep down that she is better off staying inside for a bit longer. It is just frustrating that I have had a week of on and off contractions and a full day of contractions with nothing to look forward to. Okay I have plenty to look forward to. I have been contracting plenty today. Sitting here in my bed typing this I have had atleast 10. They hurt and are frustrating. I guess the most frustrating part is that they don't change if I lay down, they still come. I wonder if I should try to stay down or just get the things done I need to do. Will they do anything? Should I try to keep her in? They said at 36wks she would be considered full term last night...in the past (6yrs ago) they told me she was considered premmie. Big premmie (7lb 11oz)!!

Anyway, this explains the drama of yesterday! I still need to write about Bryans visit to ER, another murphy's law experience...never say never.

****Someone asked what the nerve being cut meant. I did some more research and it is hard to decipher the medical jargon. From my understanding the nerve partially controls pain from the vagina and the uterus. It decreases the sensation, which in the end helps with crohnic pelvic pain in relation to endometriosis. Which I used to almost pass out from monthly. After the procedure I did much better. That however could have been from having the endometriosis removed by laser. It supposedly is a very difficult procedure to do,which could be why recovery from that was a bear. Results were good. anyway, why I mention it is with the nerve cut, I have no clue to what I would REALLY be feeling. I don't know if the contractions would be harder for other people...anyway hard to judge them. Someone mentioned I could talk through them the other day. granted everyone handles pain differently. I don't know if this nerve cut helps me handle it differently. To me the contractions hurt plenty! I hope that makes more sense. I find I don't make a lot these days. ;)

It's Great to be Eight!

2009-12-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

Katelyn turned 8 on Friday and had the opportunity to be baptized the next day! How great is that? Turn 8 one day, then the next you get baptized! Wohoo!

I am so proud of her. She is such a good girl. The program was beautiful and I cried through the opening song and I had to say the prayer. It is hard to believe that my little Kates is 8 and accountable for her own choices right now. Of course we aren't sending her out in the world yet. What a big step for each of us.

Katie with Grandpa Jackson!

Katie and Sierra, clean happy girls!

Gestational diabetes

2009-11-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

A week and half ago I failed the one hour glucose tolerance test. I did the same thing over 6yrs ago too. This was, however a shock. I had been checking my glucose levels periodically and was doing fine. So, I thought. After that test I dcided to check my blood sugar every two hours (after meals) and fasting for the next 3 days. I was consistently high on the two hour ones. My fasting ones were perfect (under 100).

Last week when i went in for the 3hour I failed the first two numbers. My fasting was 111, then I drank the 100gr of glucose lemon lime drink (btw, they are no longer carbonated). BLECH!!! My one hour number was 183 (supposed to be under 180) and was told I probably hadn't even peaked out yet. I wasn't surprised at this actually.

I saw the dietician at Mountain View Hospital and feel a bit better. It is great to have guidelines now. Poking my fingers every two hours is not my idea of fun. I am a grazer and like to eat when I like. If I want to eat an orange when I get the urge, by golly I want to eat it. However I can't. Carb counting is the bain of my existence right now. I am amazed at the amounts of carbs in foods. I even checked out Weight Watcher's Smart Ones today at Walmart and the carb count on them was too high! I was hoping for a quick fix this week while Scott is in Portland.

A GD diet is all about balance, and that balancing act gets tricky! I can have something that is in the limit of the carb limit and still be high two hours later. AND I can eat the right amounts and crash. So confusing!!! Now, I'm looking at the next 2.5 months and feeling sad. I have three birthdays in the next two weeks and two major holidays. The EATING ones!!!!! I know, I can count my blessings that I'm not on an IV for the holidays. No food, might be easier than seeing everyone else eat what they want and having to avoid the GOOD stuff. LOL! On and an IV I would probably in a hospital AWAY from food! LOL!

On the up side, I will keep my weight gain to about 20lbs probably! I have gained 16 so far, but have lost a pound or two already.

****I wanted to add a few things that I didn't know before about GD. The risks to mom, weight gain, increase in possiblity of having Type 2 later in life. Risks to baby, early birth (Journey was 4wks early planned induction but I was in labor already), high weight (Journey was 7lb 11oz at 36wks), low blood sugar at birth and jaundice. When the mom's blood sugar is up the baby's pancreas (sp?) can compensate for it in the womb. After birth the baby doesn't have the mom's sugars coming in and the pancreas is STILL pumpping out the high doses of insulin and the baby can crash due to low blood sugar. This is the main reason to keep the blood glucose level! An occassional high number is okay but consistent ones harm the baby. This is why I will keep the diet.

I think it is over!

2009-10-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

A week ago, Dejah and Katie started with flu like symptoms. NO!!!!!!!! By morning they both were lethargic and exhausted! Of course I was worried with all the hype of N1H1 and pregnancy. I knew my kids who are usually healthy would be fine. They got blessings and I took them in to be tested, not knowing they would NOT test them. Had I known that I would have avoided the waiting room entirely and treated them at home as if they did have N1H1. The doc said he was 99% sure it was swine flu. By Friday, Bryan had the chills and a headache. He started vomitting and fevering in the evening and was lethargic the next 2 days. Lindsey quickly followed the lead and was sick. Luckily she was mild! Journey was probbaly the luckiest of all! She only got a low grade fever (99-101.5) and that was it. She did not have the lethargy the first three had and no added cough! She even enjoyed her 6th birthday!!!

Dejah's fever was the only one that returned for an added day. Today marks a week and the fevers have totally broken and if the fever doesn't return they will each get to go to school in the morning! They are thrilled! So am I.

The symptoms that the kid had were

chills, aches, fever, sore throat, headache, dizziness, lethargy, cough, congestion.

The cough is the only continuing symptom. The doctors say the cough can last THREE weeks. I think that is a hard one for me since when I hear them cough I automatically turn away and cover my own mouth and nose. They have been doing a great job covering, but it is hard to catch them all.

I was going to keep them home for 10days, but the doctor said they could return to regular activities after 24hrs of being fever free. The CDC website once said it could be contagious for up to 10 days. Apparently they have changed their minds. I hope they are right. I have done what I could by keeping them home (all of them) until the last one was fever free. Three could have returned to school on Monday only to have Dejah's fever return. I'm glad I made that choice.

Now to get everyone caught up on stuff from school.

THANK YOU!

2009-10-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

We have been asking Scott for MONTHS for a new kitty. Last Friday (week and half ago) I saw a mouse run across the kitchen floor. I freaked! NOT IN MY KITCHEN!!!! I called Scott and said "THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE PANTRY!" He calmly said, "put a sticky trap in there". I did. I found a "calico kitten" on Freecylce and for fun I emailed the gal. I just do that. I had no clue she would look so much like Teeka (our kitty we had to put down). I sent Scott an email with the link to pictures and he said WE COULD GET HER! I was SHOCKED! I figured he would only be MORE annoyed with me. We picked her up on Saturday.

This morning, I saw a mouse. Of course it was the same one! Yes, I am in denial. So I grabbed our new kitty and tossed her into the pantry too. I hear her rifling around and I decide I will help by removing things. I only LET the mouse get lose! She apparently still was after it. I saw her all over the house in search mode.

I came home from getting the girls from school and getting hair cuts. I bought some leave in conditioner and went to put it in their bathroom and found the toilet needing to be flushed. (Not a surprise in a house full of kids) See waht I found on further investigation? That would be a mouse and lots of mouse droppings!!! Thank you Kitty and thank you Scott!

Kitty came with Ella as a name, which is WAY too close to Nala. I love Ella though! We have been calling her "Smudge". I have a feeling she will be both in our house. When we call Ella, Nala comes. Kitty doesn't even know her name! I guess that is a bonus, but a week of calling her Ella, has stuck for us.

She enjoys the outdoors.

Isn't too old to play yet. Loves her feather toy.

Playing

Loves the toilet water? Guess that is why she put the mouse there?

The surprise I came home too. Thank you Smudge!

Verdict is in!

2009-09-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a story problem for you....

The Jackson Family has four girls and one boy, Come the new year this will change there will be a total of six but with 5 of one and only one of the other. What is the new baby?

You guessed it, I am having a GIRL! Of course this throws a small wrench in things. Where do we put her? We have 5 bedrooms and will have 6 kids, 5 girls and one boy. The two girls rooms are filled to over flowing now. Bryan's room is the only one with room. SO, for a while we will have to bunk up a girl and boy. I have two girls already ready to fight for that. LOL! I don't think they realize what that means.

The best part of all of this is she has all the right things in the right place, everything seems perfect. She is a bit stubborn and unwilling to show everything in a timely fashion or in a "normal" order. She is breach and all curled up in a ball. Tight and facing my spine. Hard to get a good view of her face, no profile view either. SHe was free with her hands moving all in front of herself. Great views of her legs too. As far as what she will look like, well, that is obvious, just like the other four I'm sure.

I was hoping for a playmate for Bryan, and he will have one for a while, but she will eventually not be so "fun" for him. She will look up to him and have crushes on ALL of his friends. I'm sure she will be an annoyance to him, yet he will protect her and love her in his own ways.

Now, on the name search! Wouldn't think we had any left, huh? Life is GOOD!

Boy or girl?

2009-09-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be officially 21 weeks and Monday is my ultrasound. Any guesses on boy or girl? Or twins? Lindsey took this picture again, I asked for my head not to be cut off. This was the second, the first had a smile. :) Love it!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry this is a venting post

2009-09-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

I HATE being pregnant! Hate hate hate hate it! The issues I tend to have are occuring faster this time around. Which of course I'm not pleased about! The light headedness is here to stay (usually the 3rd trimester) and along with it are the dang varicose veins. They make me feel like my insides are falling out and tons of pressure. The treatment for them, causes other issues. UGH!!!!! I am trying an herb I read about and hope that helps. So for the past little while I have been laying down on my left side as much as I can. Modified bed rest, is what my doctors in the past called it. I have only had one bought of sciatica, Hallelujah!

As you can imagine with all the laying down I have done in the past 4 months, my house has become a disaster. My kids and husband seemed to do half jobs here and there, which didn't keep things up. I did half jobs too. Then when my vomitting subsided (I'm too chicken to try without the unisom), that stopped and it was back on me. Now, I have to have to have their whole help again. I have become snappy and jumpy which I HATE! WHat has me in a poor mood today is Scott actually called me on it. "Shelley, I have noticed you have been yelling more and more. How are we to expect the kids to not yell if you are yelling at them all the time?" I felt about a millimeter tall. Instead of saying, "you're right" I got defensive. Ended up yelling at him! NICE!!!!!!! Made my daughter cry because she heard it!

So today I feel like I am total failure even though I know I'm not. Today just sucks and it isn't even 9am yet. I have about 80lbs of laundry to do, Scott wore "recycled" underclothes today. Nice! I'm out of lunch foods for the girls and cereal. I'm tired of the disaster and want to clean it all! I'm in severe pain being up for 30 minutes at a time. I need to suck it up and get something done, pain or not. Hopefully the white oak bark will help!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for posting a woe is me post. I know many people have it worse or are wanting to be pregnant! I feel better having written things down. I may come back and delete this post later. Sigh!

Last Hurrah! San Diego, California

2009-08-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

Since I have been so sick over the summer the kids have not really had much fun. Seeing how I do well on the meds we decided to make a last chance trip to Sea World. I am happy to say, I didn't need my meds until Saturday on our way home. I forgot to take the unisom on Friday night. OOPS! I am getting back to normal!!!!

I learned a few things on our trip...............

1) a dvd player is a life saver! The last minute purchase made the 14hr trip enjoyable for everyone.

2) having a plan on when the kids could drink and eat snacks made life easier!

3) A/C is a must traveling through the desert (I'm thankful mine worked!!!)

4) I don't like Vegas (too crowded and too much construction going on)

5) Hotel Circle in San Diego lacks gas stations

6) There are too many interstates in San Diego!

7) I will forever be a small town girl! Yes, I know I wasn' a small town girl growing up. Maui forever ruined me. Which I am thankful for!

8) Kids love sea world (big and small)

9) Sea lions have finger like thingies next to their noses...that's how they hold balls.

10) Soak Zone means that you get SOAKED

11) A three year old boy makes a decent shield for the soak zone. Hey, he wanted to sit on my lap!

12) Havenly Father has created an incredible world for us! Amazing creatures!

13) Seaweed is gross! Too much on the beach we went too.

14) Kids don't like salt water, but LOVE sand! you should have seen them spitting it all out.

15) Hotels that have connecting rooms ROCK! Life is easier when you can walk next door in privacy, not walk outside to the next room. One night was connecting, two were not.

16) VERIFY your hotel resservations! No matter how long you talk to the gal about how you have 7 people and want connecting rooms, she may only book you for ONE! Then be FULL on the night of arrival! ARGH!

17) The "thank you's" you hear are priceless.

18) Seeing the Santaquin exit sign is like heaven after a quick packed trip.

19) The money spent was worth the memories!

Shark Teeth!

2009-08-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

So three of my four that have lost teeth get what we call "shark teeth", the adult teeth grow in behind the baby teeth. When this happens the baby teeth don't get very loose for a LONg time. As the adult teeth grow in there is litte room to grab the baby tooth. Journey's teeth got so loose this time that it HUNG. She wouldn't let me get near her to "pull it". She let me LOOK at it and take a picture. The only reason she let me oull it was because we were going to the dentist. I told her he would charge me to pull her tooth. She said "I'll let you pull it so you don't have to pay $50 for him to pull it". I doubt he would have charged me for that one. But the others have been about $56 to pull, they never got this loose.

By the way, she swallowed the other one. She had no clue it came out. Seriously, I remember being so excited to loose a tooth I would run to my parents and beg them to pull the loose tooth at the first sign of it being loose. I noticed Journey's "shark teeth" right after her last cleaning, so 6 months ago. It took that long for them to "fall" out. They weren't wiggly 6 months ago. They take after Scott....he had shark teeth too.

I'm going to AUSTIN!

2009-07-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

I am so excited! My mom called from work the other day and said "do you feel well enough to travel". Hmmmm, travel where? Travel to WalMart? Travel to Mexico? Travel? I have been feeling pretty good lately. I was really hoping I was over the hump. She told me my SIL called and said they wanted to fly her down for the weekend. WOHOO! My brother and his family have been living in Quatar for 6 months. They are home to renew Visas and will return.

SO she asked if I wanted to come too. WOW! I haven't been "home" in about 5yrs I guess. Of course going to Texas at the end of July, first of August isn't the best time to go. Today down there it rained and the high was 103. 100% humidity so it felt even hotter I'm sure. I hope I survive!

I will only be there for a short visit, but it will be nice to get away from things here. A get away for mom is always welcomed! I am so excited!

Four years ago

2009-07-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

Four years ago I was pregnant and moving. I have been thinking about my pregnancy with Bryan. All the things I did while I was pregnant with him. I was due the end of November, so three months ahead of where I am now. We moved the first week in August.

We decided in April that we would move. We set out to get the house on the market. I painted the trim on the house, raised the flower bed rock trim. It had sunk over the years and needed to be raised and leveled. Everything had to be weeded well. I finished the walls in one of the bedrooms, I had put up fabric but it wasn't finished. I did all that! HOW? The only thing I can think of, is I felt better.

We painted the great room (vaulted ceilings) I was up on the tall ladder painting until I got dizzy and had to come down. So I know there were moments, plus I was throwing up still. I know that. I wish I had kept a journal.

I used to make dolls and even made a doll for my OB before I left. I had my 20wk ultrasound before we left, actually a week or so before. The last time I threw up in that pregnancy was 18 or 21wks. Looking back, I was she-ra. What a difference from now.

Now, I barely keep up on the laundry, I don't know if my kids have clean clothes today, actually. Dishes get done, some how...oh ya I throw up doing them. Food gets made, but I throw up then too. Just standing up makes me want to hurl, forget being on a ladder or on the roof. Forget being on my knees pulling rocks out of the ground. All I want is my bed.

I do have good days though. I live for those. They seem to be getting further apart though. I keep hearing "you are how far along? oh you're almost past the bad part". I laugh and pray they are right. Unfortunately it is getting worse, not better.

I guess I have left the power of positive thinking sleeping today. I am so surprised at the difference from 4yrs ago.

Left Brain

2009-07-08T17:32:00.000-07:00

I listened to a VERY funny audio the other day, you can hear it at . It is entitled "Left Brain's grocery list", it about 7 1/2 minutes long. I thought it was well worth the laugh.

Yesterday, I asked Lindsey to switch the laundry from the washer to the dryer. I was away from home and asked her to go down to the dryer so I could tell her which setting to put it on (I had it on a strange setting from the last load). I tried to explain to her where to look, the left dial and asked her to read them to me. I told her which one to put it on. Well I said the "more dry", she said "there is nothing that says that". We had already determined where on the dial it was. She said it said "VERY" Dry. Okay, that is it. Later I began thinking about her personality and this audio. I can so see her doing that, taking everything so literal. I guess, I need to be more specific in the future. It is a good thing she can't drive yet. ;) She is a fun kid! I can't believe she is almost 12!

Lucky girls!

2009-07-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

Katie's is the small one, Dejah's (her 3rd) is the big one

Ever seen a four leaf clover, better yet ever found one? ME niether. My daughters, however have! Dejah has found THREE so far, Katie one.

I got to thinking last night if RED clover has more four leaf clovers than the standard green clover. Red has a light green/white on the petal, the flowers are a purple. Red is edible too. Yes, we have tried them, mighty tastey. They would be a great addition to a salad, if you haven't poisoned them that is.

When Dejah found her first one, Scott promised ice cream. He took us all the THE CREAMERY ON NINTH in Provo. The girls loved it and Dejah got a double. She couldn't finish it either. So tonight is another ice cream night, tradition I guess. Creamery once, banana splits another time...time again for the creamery. Dejah and Katie get the double this time.

Lucky girls!

First OB check of many to come

2009-07-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

I had my first Ob check today. According to my dates I was 9w7d (tomorrow would be 10wk). I was bummed when they decided to stick to a 28d cycle. Oh well. I guess it is better to expect later and go earlier??? When I got there they had me at 9w3d, so I was happy when I left with them saying 9w5d...a few day difference. I know I'm picky. LOL!

All went well, my blood work looks good, a bit on the anemic side, but everything else great. So that is fabulous! He said he wasn't surprised to see me. Funny man! We talked about the crohn's and he researched the meds I'm on and thinks they are great. Much better than my history of meds, so he is pleased. So am I!

We did an ultrasound to confirm dates, that is where I was excited. It came closer to my dates, so I was pleased, more of a "meet in the middle". I saw the heartbeat and saw him/her wiggle all over. A mover and a shaker already. It made it all so real.

There is only one, which is a tremendous relief to me. I have been told the surprise baby is a real joy. That the age gap (4yrs 3mo) will give me an opportunity to enjoy him/her. I was worried that if there were TWO, that would go out the window. LOL! I think twins are for the first time mom, you have no clue what to expect anyway. :)

"as in the days of Noah"

2009-06-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

For some reason, this is not showing the whole screen of the video. You can view it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RplBQGogYEk

2lbs and 2 inches

2009-06-15T10:39:00.000-07:00

So I decided to measure my waist yesterday, I knew I lost all muscle tone (wait did I have any?). So Low and behold I have gained two inches in my waist. I at first lost two pounds, then gained them and lost them. So those two pounds are eluding me, which I don't mind. Oh the joy's of showing early. Someone even said yesterday "you're showing?!", um yes, thank you for pointint that out. So it has begun. I am not even officially 7wks along and I'm showing. I was in maternity clothes with the last two by 9wks. I guess this one is stepping it up a bit. It isn't just the waist either, I'm bigger up to the rib cage. So I don't look just fat, but pregnant.

Oh the joys of number 6?

I had Lindsey take a picture....this is in maternity clothes. I look bigger than the 2inches. That is only in the waist, mind you. UGH! I haven't had a flat tummy since Lindsey. LOL!

6w6d #6

Wow!

2009-05-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

I NOW have air conditioning in my suburban! It had been making noise when we bought it. They told us they had gotten it checked over and over and no one could say what was wrong with it. It took my friend Steve only a few minutes looking at it one day to see there was NO belt! I guess what happened was that the belt was slowly breaking and maybe the pieces were hitting something, making the noise. I guess when the belt finally broke and littered the road is when the A/C finally stopped.

A month or more ago we bought the belt but couldn't connect for Steve to put it on. Well yesterday was the big day. I was really hoping it was only the belt. He put it on and the A/C worked! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! About 5 minutes after leaving his house yesterday Bryan and Journey were saying "I'm freezing, turn it off". What a glorious sound! It blows SO cold too.

Hmmm, so where can we drive to, what day trip can we make now? What did the pioneers do without air conditioning?

THANK YOU STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I owe you one or two!

Expecting the unexpected

2009-05-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

When you decide you are finished having kids there is a roller coaster of emotions. You often wonder, am I REALLY done? And there is the occassional baby lust when you see the perfect baby and you want to hold it. Then you wake up and are happy you are past that phase. You see pregnant women and think they look so cute and are saying prayer of thanksgiving that you will never look like that again. I do have to say, I'm not really a cute pregnant woman, I'm a whale.

I found myself earlier this month thinking about "If I ever did it again, I think I would want to go with a midwife". WHat was I thinking that for? I wasn't ever going to do it again. All my births went fine, I survived and so did the babies. Lindsey I guess was a toss up there...she could have gone either way at a few points. I guess that is to be expected when the OB thinks she is 7lbs and she is really 9lbs. She was so unexpected, she was a Tongan looking baby.

I am wanting to take a Family Herbalist Class and have found myself interested in the herbs in my yard. I have Catnip and have found it is almost a miracle herb for me anyway. I looked online and read all about it. At the bottom it says "Induces menstration. Do not use with menstural disorders or during pregnancy". My first thought was "I'm a day late, so sounds great". A small voice whispered "be sure before you take it". HUH?????? I'm irregular enough I hoped I wasn't really pregnant.

A trip to the Dollar Tree to buy a cheap test. After TWO lines appeared, I freaked! I went across the street to talk to my friend who thought I wasn't done. I showed her the test and asked what it meant. She was so excited but quickly realized I was freaking out. I was NOT expecting this. I guess I really hoped I was done.

So over the past few days I have had time to think and freak out more. I was on the road to getting thin. I was on the road to being DONE with diapers. Bryan was going to be the only one home during the day next year. Scott and I were planning a great vacation for the two of us, Brazil, Maui or somewhere else. It was going to be GREAT! I was not expecting to be throwing up all summer.

So I am now expecting the unexpected. Welcome to our family little one. I still can't believe it though. I keep pinching myself and looking at the dard tests...they are right, right? Still no period, I guess I AM PREGNANT! Now, if I can kick this cough and avoid the fever (flu?) two of my kids have/had.

Unexpected gifts are awesome, just unexpected and shocking. We will need bigger things...table for one. ;)

Dejah

2009-05-22T16:05:00.000-07:00

Dejah is my quiet shy little girl. SHe LOVES to climb and do "challenges" with her daddy. She is so funny...she needed no help to do this in reality. He was there for support. She is awesome! Check out her climb.

AND SHE GETS IT FROM....DAD!

things you never think to ask...

2009-05-16T22:17:00.001-07:00

Tonight Scott took me to dinner at Saruku (sp?) for Sushi and Japanese barbeque. We shared the grill area with a set of sisters. After dinner was made the one asked us if we were from around here. We said we lived in Santaquin. She looked at Scott and asked if he ever lived in Orem. Nope...how about Provo. Well having been at the Y for 6yrs yes he HAD lived in Provo. She swore up and down she knew him from somewhere.

After a good ten minutes and her gathering Scott was not the person she thought he was she explained what she thought she had remembered him from. About 20yrs ago she was taking care of a apartment complex in Orem. She told us about a young couple who came in and put down a deposit down on a place. They got married and then asked for the deposit back. They were moving out. They were getting an annullment after only about 2wks of marriage. She said Scott looked identical to this guy. She had even leaned to her sister and said, "I rented an apartment to him years ago" and told her the circumstance. She even said "See he's still not married", I didn't have my wedding ring on.

When we were headed home I laughed and said, "I don't think I ever asked if you were married before". He laughed being a good sport and said "Go ahead and ask, you KNOW you want to". I was laughing because I knew then as I know now he had never been married. Even though he was 27, he could have been married and had a kid or two. You never think to ask, "have you been married and anulled your marriage?".

It also makes me think what could have happened in those first few weeks to make a person want OUT like that? Maybe there were some questions not asked before? I do hope they found the right person and remarried. I'm just glad Scott wasn't that person. That could have been very awkard, running into that lady. "I know you, you were that guy who asked for his deposit back after two weeks, or was it 10 days? how did things turn out? I see your still not married...." I guess I need to wear my wedding ring more often.

Love Story meets Viva la Vida

2009-05-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

A friend posted this on Facebook. I am just amazed at what can be done with music. I am not musically inclined but I do know I like music and think it makes the world a better place. I hope you enjoy this. I have never heard a cello played like this, ever. Don't forget to turn off my music at the bottom.

Hope of America

2009-05-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Hope of America is a fifth grade program. They run for two nights to get all the classes to participate. I think there are about 70 schools that participate. The 5th graders sing and dance to patriotic songs.

I LOVED it last night. When I think of our wonderful country and how it was founded, I tear up. I felt the spirit there last night and hope that that the students felt how special our country is. We live in a great land.

Here is a blown up view of Lindsey's group. They were in the top white stripe on the right.

Brazil is again delayed

2009-05-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I can get excited something changes. So currently the company in Brazil is checking out other options. So the trip was going to be (for Scott) the 23rd and I would come down on the 5th. They requested three weeks (Scott's company) so Scott could do some developing and allow two weeks for the VISA. We are now less than three weeks away from the time they said they wanted him. I am really hoping this still goes through.

From what I have been told Cluster is "cheap" compared to competitors. So I have hope. Who better to help with a CLuster Product than Cluster themselves. Seems like a no brainer to me. Scott will be between Sao Paulo and Rio. WAY down South. Too bad it will be WINTER there. :)

I love to see the temple....

2009-04-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

This is an old draft. I apparently didn't hit post. So this is from last Thursday.

I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday....

The days I go to the temple I notice I need extra help to make it through the day. Seriously, those days are almost painful. So sad to say outloud. I find I am easily frustrated and on edge. I snap at the kids so quick.

By the time I get out the door I am saying a prayer of thanksgiving and seeking forgiveness for my short fuse. Often, I feel as if I'm not worthy to be going to the Lord's house. I know it is the advesary working on me. Once I walk in those doors all those feelings melt away and I soften immediately.

Tonight I am lucky enough to actually be going with Scott. Usually we don't go together, we alternate. I am anxious for this visit.

I love to See the Temple, I'll go inside someday.....

What keeps you awake?

2009-04-28T17:23:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning. I woke from a very bizarre dream. It was the kind that you hope never happens, but COULD. In my dream we had recieved a bunch of calls from people I didn't know. It was as if we were just looking at the caller ID and not picking up. There was a knock at the door, we had JUST sat down to eat dinner. A man was at the door I didn't recognize at all. Scott gave him a huge hug and began talking to him as if they were best friends. I guess they were from years ago. Scott had talked to him earlier and not told me that we were letting his man's parents stay with us. I looked around and thought "WHAT was he thinking?!". So the man walks out and gets his Dad. He brings his dad in, HE's BLIND!!!!!!! Then comes the mom, in a motorized scooter!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wake up! (Lindsey is Rolling thinking this is so funny!)

So there I lay this morning (5:45) thinking about the crazy dream and HOW was I going to care for these people as the visit. Um, HELLO, it's JUST a dream. So then I beging to think about more pressing issues...do I get up now and work out? Am I going to be able to make it to 3rd grade Hershey Track? Do I work out? I wonder what the bathroom vanity is going to REALLY look like (I'm picking up a used vanity from a remodel job), Do I get up NOW to work out? So with all the thinking about working out, I got out of bed and began to get ready. Man,I wanted to crawl BACK in bed. It was warm...but no it was already about 6:20 by then. I'm NOt falling back to sleep. I did wonder how many "Pretty Boy" crowed. I've started to hear the others too...they are MUCH quieter, which I am greatful!

So, what keeps you up? Dumb dream! If Scott REALLY did that I would send him to a hotel...wait, I have a shed and a dog house. ROFL! HMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!! He knows better, right? Yes, he does.

PURE INSANITY!!!!!!!!

2009-04-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Look what pulled up in front of my house yesterday!

The back part is what was "mine". That was just SHY of NINE THOUSAND POUNDS of wheat!

I wish I had gotten a picture of it in my driveway to get a better idea of the enormity ot this. I have been stressed over this for over a month. I collected over $2000 dollars and sent it off to a guy I know in Centerville the end of March. I had some people make comments like "How well do you know this guy?" and "This is a lot of money ($120) I don't like handing it over to someone I don't know."

Delivery of the wheat was tricky. I had thought "My trailor can haul 7500lbs, it can handle 6000". Scott set me straight, the max weight minus the trailor's weight really is 6000lbs which made Scott FREAK out over. All in all it turned out fine, since the oder grew by another ton. I recieved payment for 2000 more pounds the day after I sent off the first 6000. SIGH!!! The stress began to rise. How do I get 8000lbs? Two trips.

When it finally came to the delivery date, it ended up being delivered in SLC at 10:30PM! It happened to be the night of Scott's preparedness class. There was NO way I was going to pull the trailor in the DARK and RAIN. I just couldn't do it. I had a friend willing to help (thanks Steve), but we needed TWO drivers. Luckily Kent (the guy in charge), figured out something for me. We had our own semi going to bring it down! The only down fall was I was dealing with THEIR schedule. I had four dates with them. FINALLY they came yesterday!

I had an additonal 20bags for someone else...just in case you were doing the math and it wasn't working....6000 Plus 2000 equals 8000, huh. Add another 20 bags...it makes a 9000. I do think we were off by ONE bag. :)

I am SO Excited and Thankful that 9000lbs of wheat is in the hands of members of the church. Wheat is very versitle! I am happy the turn out was so strong. YEAH!! However, I don't think I will do a group order of this weight again

Kids and money

2009-04-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

It is really funny how the kids have seemed to have grown a bit since they have gotten their own money. Usually they are wanting to just buy candy.

A few weeks ago Lindsey was saving for a day camp. We told her she would have to pay for $25 of the $75. When she got her overdue allowance she looked at her money and decided the day camp wasn't worth it to her. We were actually relieved as the $50 from us could be put into a whole family outing. She agreed that was better.

Today we went to pick out a birthday gift for a friend of Lindsey's and all the kids took their money. Journey and Katie had been eyeing these glitter balls. Quite cool things, but $8! I didn't think they were worth it. I have decided to give guidance but not tell them that they can't buy something. It is theirs and if they "waste" it, then they learn.

Dejah knew what she wanted she wanted to make a special dessert for the family. I thought it was really cool she wanted to spend her money on everyone. Lindsey wanted a NERF gun. Journey and Katie, well those balls were in their heads. Bryan only knew if everyone else was getting something he wanted something too.

So we spent time looking at EVERYTHING!!!!! We were there 2 hours! They each went through the checkout lane themselves and paid and got change back. It was fun to see them spend their own money. Not that I would have spent the money they did, how they did. I made sure that the item was HOW they wanted to spend it. For Lindsey, the NERF gun was going to be more fun than the day camp. She KNEW, the family outing would be more fun and that girls camp NEXT summer (I am feeling OLD) would more than make up for a 5th grade camp.

I was THROUGHLY disappointed in Bryan's pick, it was broken before we got on the freeway home. I'll take it back. I can't see how he broke it that fast. When we got home, I asked for his toy, well the part that was still intact. He didn't want to give it to me, he asked "Why?". I told him it is broken, his reply "I don't care. vrmmmmm". He's easy to please. I guess they all are, two balls, dessert fixings and a nerf gun oh and a broken motorcycle.

Forget Sunscreen get burned

2009-04-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, I think I will wear sunscreen and take Vit D supplements. OWIE!

gaining inches

2009-04-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, I have come to a depressing realization. I am gaining inches! I have been working out for 3wks now. Hard workouts! Lots of core work and lunges and squats. Mass ab work and I'm GAINING inches! I don't get it. I have however noticed my biceps are more defined and my quads are harder. Could this be the cause of inches? I mean, maybe the gain before the loss? My body fat percentage has dropped 2%, but I have gained weight and inches. It is rather depressing in a way.

The good news is I am seeing a difference in my muscles. I have said in the past that I just wanted to be tone and fit. Maybe I'm getting my wish. I know, I know three weeks is not that much time. I'm working out 4-5 times a week and it feels AWESOME! I just hope I start to lose soon.

Playing with knives

2009-04-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

You try to teach your children to NOT play with knives then your husband so lovingly says "let's carve soap for Family Home Evening". What do you say? "Uh, you know we have 5 kids 11 and under?" He said it infront of them....oh boy! EVERYONE is excited but mommy.

The crew...everyone got a bar of Ivory soap and a knife.

I helped Bryan, more like I did it, then he broke the snowman to bits with a butter knife.

We had a Turtle (scott), a Dog head (mom), Fish (Lindsey), Car (Dejah), Dice (Katie), Dice and a mailbox (Journey) and a Snowman (Bryan with the help of Mom). Oh and no worries not a single drop pf blood was split. And we had a food fight afterwards even.... All sorts of "no nos" in a night.

Pretty boy

2009-04-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

So I have this gift, I can just about fall asleep at the drop of the hat. You hear about those people who are asleep as soon as their head hits their pillow. Well that is usually me. I also have a curse, I am easily woken up, especially in the morning hours. Quite often I can fall back asleep easily, but then I am woken up again.

This morning I woke up before my alarm (set for 6:40) and fell back to sleep and woke a minute before the alarm. I decided this morning I would use "pretty boy" the rooster as a snooze button. MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!! So I consciencely made myself listen for him. I would doze and wake when I heard him. See, where my gift and curse play in here? Well, I decided to time the thing.... He was crowing every stinkin minute! He would crow and I would look up... 6:46...6:47...6:48...6:48...UH OH! TWICE in a minute? He starts this at 5-5:20 AM EVERY DAY! So if I'm not making myself listen for him, I get some actual sleep. After this morning I am wondering how much I get after he wakes. Does he crow every minute that early? So on my grumpy days, just assume I was woken up a lot. I tend to need uninterupted sleep.

I am thankful for my extra pillow and an arm that goes over that pillow and my ear. My other arm is under my other pillow and other ear. My bathroom fan (white noise) is now broken from over-use. I hope Porter gets some good chicks from this "Pretty boy". I'm ready to scream!

April Fools dinner

2009-04-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

Cake for dinner? Meatloaf cake, with mashed potato frosting. In Journey's words "this isn't frosting" with a very funny look! ROFL!

Hotdogs for dessert? Bananas with PB and strawberry syrup in a hotdog bun. YUM!

The meatloaf inside. Yes it has carrots in it.

Gardens!

2009-03-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

I married the best guy! I asked Scott's plans for the day yesterday and they included getting stuff for the garden. Little did I knwo it included plans to clear amd till the garden plot at my mom's. It was a great day.

Someone a church had asked us to help a lady down the street from him with her garden. So Scott droppe doff stuff at her house (steer manure and peat moss) and came home and got us. We went and helped weed and spread the additives. The gal who lived there is not a member and said we were an unusual family. She is well aquainted with the LDS faith, but she said were were different. HMMMM! I wasn't sure how to take that. I think she was surprised that the whole family came and pitched in. We talked the whole time. She is really a neat lady and quickly bonded with our family.

Next we went to my mom's. I was surprised when I asked Scott if my mom knew what he was doing. He said "nope, should we call her?". Oh even more fun! The garden plot had been the place where her land lord had kept goats. Cleaning it up was a chore, but talk about organic matter! We tilled an area that is about half the size of our garden. She will not be able to use it all, which is great. Maybe someone else can help her garden the plot.

After working the other two, we came home to do our own. Scott finished up in the dark. I am worried that the wind from the canyon blew a lot of good dirt away last night. We are getting ready for another nasty week of cold and snow. Ready to pack the good dirt down. OOPS! It was a good day! A great day! My hand is even better this morning! YEAH!

Have I done any good in the world today....

2009-03-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

I get LOTS of emails from free cycle and they are usually people needing something or giving something away. I LOVE Freecycle.org and think it is a great organization a great way to help people. Today a post caught me off gaurd and has made me think.

Here is the email

Okay this may be weird, but I've learned how to sew in the past 6 month, and fixing something that I was about to throw out gives me a thrill. I've gotten really good at patching jeans, I can fix hems and zippers if you bring the right size of replacement zipper. Anyway, I figure you guys can e-mail me and I'll do first ones first going down the list. I'll e-mail the next person on the list as I'm ready for them. Thanks, this will be fun.

It made me think, what do I do or can do that can help someone else? Also Marilee Laney's Lucky 5 post made me want to do some service too. Gee, I also bought "Pay it Forward" the other day. I think I am being prompted in many ways. So I am thinking, how can I stretch out of myself and serve others. So I am on a quest this week. I am going to find something I can do to help others. I have been very blessed, so much so I often wonder "when will the ball drop? when will my luck run out?". So, it is time for me to step up and be of more service. Maybe that means I will start up prep classes again, or maybe it means I will do something different.

Time to hit my knees.

**Sorry I am post happy (2 posts each day in the past 2 days).

Lucky Five

2009-03-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

So this is circulating in the blog world....Sounds like fun! Sign up, you won't be sorry! The first 5 people to leave a comment to this post will receive something from me, Shelley! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:.

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I give you (but there's a pretty good chance you might).

2. What you receive will be just for you.

3. You will receive it by April 20th. Depending on when I leave for Brazil.

4. You have no clue what it's going to be. Currently, I have no clue. I just saw this on Marilee's blog and thought it would be a fun way to serve.

The Catch? Yep...you have to pay it forward in a way. Post it on your blog and let me know you have. You will then get something great (hopefully you think so to) from me. I hope we all can have fun with this and touch someone else. Have fun!

Crazy lady is at it again (Whole Cleanse here)

2009-03-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

****I decided to combine the whole clease as my other posts are getting lost. I will just edit this post and post the new day at the end****

DAY ONE
I have decided once again to do the Master Cleanse. I did it back in 2007 after losing 20lbs. It cleaned out the gunk in my body and made me feel incredible. Maybe I'm just thinking back to when things were simpler, BUT after a few days on the cleanse I had clarity of thought. I am a typical ping pong ball, I don't think I was always that way. Don't ask Scott that question, it might ruin my thought process here. ;) Back to the clarity, I was able to think faster and remember things. I once had a memory and could tell you the place and words said. Since having kids a wall has gone up on many things. Now, I'm not blaming my beautiful children for this. I just think as you worry about more and more things and people you forget other things. Hey that is fine and probably normal. I would like to improve it again.

I started my 10 day cleanse and journey yesterday. The day was actually really good. Last night we went to hear Farley Anderson speak (another post) and there was apot luck. I made Artichoke Tomato bake (yummm!) and we went. I took 36oz of my lemonade drink with me. I ignored all the good smelling food and drank my drink. I felt I did very well considering I had no solid foods in 24hrs.

I actually like the lemonade drink (8oz water 2T fresh lemon juice, 2T real maple syrup and a 1/8t cayenne pepper. SOme people hate the lemonade by the end, I actually enjoyed it and would make it on occassion just to drink. Crazy huh? It is the Salt water flush in the mornings I hate. A quart of water with 2t salt. BLECH! It is hard to down, and I'm nauseated for a bit after it. BLECH!(Don't read the next part if you are easily grossedd out)*** It helps things move through the bowels. The point of the lemon and pepper is to cleanse the organs, the flush clears out the toxins through the bowels. But the lemonade is great!

Today is day 2 for me and if you can believe it, I woke up NOT hungry! Not a hunger pain at all. It was great! I did the dishes as I drank the SWF. I had energy even! You would think one would lack energy 36hrs without solid food.

I took in about 800 calories yesterday. The last time I only took in about 600. They recomend 6-8 glasses (8-10oz) a day. The Maple syrup is 100 calories per glass. I do not know my starting weight so I'm not sure I will be able to measure true weightloss. I think I will take measurements today.
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DAY TWO

Yesterday was a great day. I decided to take the LIFE CAPS to see if they would help. I think that is what helped. Bridget has been using them with her low calorie diet planwith success, so I thought I would give it a try. So far so good. I woke up wihtout hunger pains (WOW!) and was able to go the day without feeling like I was being starved. Two thumbs up for Life Caps!

About five o'clock I did start to get REALLY irritable. I had to run by Walmart after Homedepot to pick up some olives for pizza. The kids did their "I'm hungry, can we get (fill in the blank)!" I wanted to drop kick them in the store! Instead I pulled all 5 of them to the side and had a heart to heart with them. I told myself I would not use the "Well, I haven't eaten in __ days" this time. I caved and told them "guys, come on have some respect, I haven't eaten real food in TWO days! PLEASE stop asking for everything. I'm buying stuff to make you pizza." After that they were polite. We went home and it started all over again....all the normal kid stuff, "I'm hungry, what's for dinner?". I kicked everyone out of the kitchen and wasn't very nice at times. I HATE this part of the cleanse. Your body is TRYING to adjust and is under stress. This usually subsides by day four and picks up again on day 7. After that it is pretty much smooth sailing.

As far as hunger goes, I did very well. The heightened sense of smell is picking up now...boy howdy! Hot dog buns smell good even. ROFL! I have only had one slip so far and that was when I was reheating the artichoke tomato bake for Scott. I test the temp with my finger and then licked my finger. So so far so good. Tasted YUMMY though.

yesterday I did put the full amount of cayenne in my lemonade and boy was that fun. I guess I had been eye balling it wrong. I actually measured out an 1/8t and put it in my 8oz of lemonade. you know the movies/tv shows where they show the people doing shots of whatever the liquor is? THe look on their face, the burn they must feel. Well, I had a similar look yesterday drinking my lemonade. WHOA! Hot!

Cayenne is supposed to be fabulous of blood loss, you can put it on an open wound and it will help clot. Interesting enough, it will help people having heart attacks too. I fyou know someone is having a heart attack, have them drink water with cayenne in it. It will open up the blood vessels and help. It will help clear sinuses too. It is good for you! Reduces blood pressure too. Cool Stuff!

On to day three....woke up without hunger pains too. That is a real gift! It really isn't too bad going without food. I am filled with fluids. I do have a hard time cooking, as I am a taster cook. I taste everything...the sauce, cheese,dough, pepperoni, olives...etc. That is the hardest part. Okay and watching the family eat what I made. :D

The reason I decided I didn't want to say "I haven't eaten in __ days" is this was MY choice. I decided to deprive myself of food. I felt it was worth it. I am hoping to rework my eating style less sugar. I am a sugar fanatic. If I can break a few habits along this journey I will be better at the end. It is more than a starvation (as some may see it) it is way to reprogram myself on a few things too. If I havve the will power to go without food/sugar for 10 days I can pretty much do anything. Atleast, that is how I see it. I am a person lacking in self discipline, I married the king of it. :) Last night I picked up my mom (who is doing the cleanse too) to take a tool back to Home Depot. She said "guess what I did?". I knew she was chewing something when I called her! ROFL! So anyway, my resovle has been strengthened. I've made it two days, what is 8 more? ;)

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DAY THREE
I was fine until I started trying to figure out dinner. Opening and closing the fridge....UGH!!!!!!!!!! Food, food, everywhere there was food, which I am very thankful for! I needed someone to make dinner last night! I decided on baked potatoes...simple. Well, that was frowned on. Too, bad!

As you can imagine, I was grumpy too. HOWEVER, this morning I have energy and am excited for the day, minus the snow that is ever so gently falling outside. I have grand plans, I'm going to work out! I was going to go to the gym, but I am thinking about just doing it here. I don't like the snow (I'm such a whimp!).

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DAY FOUR

Yesterday (day four) was a fabulous day! I had energy and was not grumpy! I had a few more aches and pains, that is normal. Overall, nothing bad. For dinner I made Porkchops, dilly carrots and spiced apples (my mom canned hem). We did a FHE on service and I made cinnamon rolls and we took them to the Bishop (we are going to miss him!). My goof so far was getting the caramel sauce from the cinnamon rolls on my fingers and licking it off. Dang it was good! I LOVE homemade caramel!!! I did very well in all the other areas of not being tempted! The sauce did tempt me, especially AFTER the oops!

My hunger has subsided and I drank only 4 or 5 glasses of lemonade yesterday. I noticed my thirst had diminished, so I really need to push the water too. I'm not getting enough plain water. So I will work on that today too. Today is my half way day! :)

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Day FIVE

First of all, I would like to explain a bit about the master cleanse. A dear friend called me yesterday worried about me. She was there when I was so sick last Feburary and she is actually the reason I was able to get help when I did. I did a COLON cleanse last January and it weaked havok on my colon. I became very ill from it. That cleanse had some harsh herbs in it meant to scrub the colon clean. The master cleanse actually is a full body cleanse. It works on the kidney mostly though, where we store a bunch of gunk. Lemon juice and cayenne may seem really harsh in theory, but they become alkaline in the body. I did this cleanse before and did fine. I feel comfortable doing it with my crohns. I do not however feel comfortable doing another colon cleanse with crohns.

Day five was great until the French bread as out last night. I am a serious french bread lover and could probably eat a whole loaf. YUMM! FOrget the lasagna, give me the bread! I was ready to bale on the whole thing and eat bread. I stayed strong and thought...I have 4 days left!

I am a bit bummed I haven't noticed any changes in my clothes fitting yet. I still have 4 days left though. LOL! On to day 6!

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DAY SIX

Day six started out easy enough. It ended with dread! I DID notice clothes fitting differently, which is GREAT! I started the cleanse on Friday and didn't weigh myself until Monday, so I don't have a clear view of my progress. On Monday, Alicia's scale said 143lbs (which is what I weighed my last weigh in at WW before I quit). I know I gained after that though. Yesterday my mom and I stopped by her work (all the gals are doing the HCG diet) and stepped on the scale. I was 141. So that was nice to see, since I hadn't noticed a change in clothes until later.

Last night was the hard part. I try VERY hard to stay out of the kitchen. I left to take Lindsey's friend home and returned to the kitchen torn apart with food from the pantry out. We went shopping at Macey's Case Lot sale on Tuesday and we needed to do some rotation. I hoped it could wait until I could handle being surounded by food. So for 3 hours last night we sorted and reworked the pantries and the storage room. I was REALLY grumpy and Scott couldn't understand why. ?????

Three more days.... I just found out my mom ended her cleanse last night. So I am going it alone for the next few days. Bummer!

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Day Seven

Yesterday was okay. I was feeling very weak, I wanted to quit a lot. Making meals and snacks for the kids was very difficult. I finally got my reslove back when I tossed the left over french bread. Bye bye bread! LOL! It wasnot the cookies the other day, or the cinnamon rolls really...but darn french bread that has about done me in on a few occassions. I am trying to figure out how I can make GOOD whole wheat (100%) french bread. I don't think it is possible! I guess the next time I try making french bread I will add more wheat than white to the dough.

I do find it interesting that I spent some time checking out mixes in jars yesterday. I am trying to figure out an easy way to make food out of food storage. I heard you can convert some of the "gifts in jars" mixes for food storage. SO I was scouring the internet for recipes. HUH? I wasn't dieing for food either. I'm really not hungry, just know food is the norm and want it. Kind of snacking out of boredom.

I weighed myself at Alicia's again yesterday and the difference from her scale to the one at my mom's work was +.2lbs. Not a loss but a gain instead. Bummer! Scott did ask me this morning if the purpose of the cleanse was weight loss or the cleansing factor. I told him both. I would like to lose more than a few pounds in the process though.

I am a bit grumpy though. I was hoping that would subside. I still have hope!

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Days 8&9

Friday was fine..so fine I cna't think of any hicups. Yesterday was a busy day. In the morning while Scott was gone we raced the clock to get the house cleaned up. i planned to take the kids to the park, but Scott had other plans. We worked gardens the rest of the day. Which caused me to work the lemonade off much faster. I did suffer hunger pangs yesterday. It was for a good cause though.

So during this cleanse you get this white gunk on your tounge and as the cleansing process continues the white goes away. I am only at about half way there. I am bummed since today is techincally my last day. TEN days is the minimum recommended. you can do this for 40 days! I think my family would kill me first. So I do think that today is my last day. I feel bad as, the cleansing process isn't over. I could keep going, if I had more maple syrup or had the money to buy more tomorrow. This cleanse has already cost more than I thought it would. Maple syrup is EXPENSIVE now! Approximately $10 a pound. I have gone through about half a gallon so far...probably more.

My plan for after this is LESS sugar. I am a sugar addict...okay I WAS a sugar addict. I am a recovering sugar addict. I will be making more things from scratch too. WOHOO! I like to make things so this is up my alley! :)

Brazil

2009-03-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

Just over three weeks ago, I recieved a phone call as I was getting out of the car to pick up pizza. It was a interesting conversation....

Scott: Uh, Hon, they want me to go to Brazil.

Me: REALLY!!!??? WOW!

Scott: ya, the catch is it is for TWO WEEKS.

Me: I WANNA GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scott: you don't even have a passport.

Scott served his mission in Sao Paulo South and came home 21yrs ago! He has forgotten a lot of his Portuguese. His company wants him to go set up a firm down there with their products. Scott is a no brainer chioce...been there done that type thing.

I have asked him many times he wanted to go back. He was never very excited about it. When the phone call came and his voice was exuberant, I KNEW he HAD to go. Two weeks alone with the kids or not, he NEEDED to go. I thought I would solve the no passport issue fast and said "you can be there for work, then I'll meet up with you!". Sounded perfect! It would take me two weeks minimum to get my passport (I decided against goint to San Francisco to get one over night) and he would be gone two weeks.

W eboth thought it would happen fast. Well, we still don't have his VISA in the works. I spoke with one of the Sales guys from Scott's company today and he thinks realistically it will be more MID April. So MID APRIL it is, which means begining of May I get to go to another country! I have only been to Canada and Mexico..so this is a TRIP! Pun intended. ;)

I am so excited! Now, I need to find some good things to do down in Brazil. Lots of questions..... And ONE Statement..."DON'T ROB ME!!!"

Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

2009-03-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

So I took the JUNG personality test and came up as an ESFP. I can see myself totally in some of it, but don't think of myself as a preformer. I do admit, I like attention, but I dont think I have to be in the middle all the time. I am quiet in large groups and am better one on one or in smallish groups.

The Performer

As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.

ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.

ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their actions.

For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They're constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people's senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.

ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.

The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.

ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and routine. They like to "go with the flow", trusting in their ability to improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with "hands-on" experience, rather than by studying a book. They're uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn't developed their intuitive side, they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where they're allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they "learn by doing".

ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they're likely to have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food and good wine.

The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of diversity, as well as people skills.

ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other types. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature as well.

The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be with. They're flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the moment.

I bolded the most true that I saw. I did fine in school though, I just liked to play more.

I should have my kids take the test and see where they fit. Could tell me a lot. ;)

Have you taken it? If so, what are you? If not and you want to... http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp You'll hae to copy and paste since my computer is acting goofy and won't let me use the mouse much. umph.

****I think Dejah is an ISFJ (The Nurturer)I answered her questions from my point of view of her...so I could be totally off.

****I think Lindsey is and INTJ (the Scientist) I asked Lindsey the questions and explained them the best I could to her. I think this one suits her quite well. SO different from me. She really is a lot like her daddy.

Simpler times

2009-03-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

This week Lindsey blamed bad eye sight on chemicals in the air. Scott made a great assessment. He is good at that! He is definately a thinker. Scott said "I bet it is everything we have to read". Now, my girls are serious readers and love to read at night with reading lights. He had to clarify a few things to ease their thoughts.

We read A LOT. Scott said, if you think about it there are words EVERYWHERE! Street signs, bill boards, gauges on our cars, license plates...we are bombarded when we are out driving. Not to mention going to the store. I was standing in an isle at Wal Mart the other day with my new glasses on and thinking there were TOO MANY choices. My head was hurting! Too many words jumping from the products into my mind. I was swimming. It hit me, life was so simple way back when.

back in simple times, when everyone grew their own food, minus the trip to the general store to pick up the flour and sugar. Talk about EASY! Okay, maybe not EASY. Just easy on the eyes and brain. What would it be like to have less stuff to strain the eyes? I wonder if plowing the field with a mule and hoe was easy on the eyes. Focusing on some point at the end of the row hopeing you get it straight. Sounds stressful on the eyes.

Would I want to trade my glasses and my words and signs for "simpler" times? I'm not sure. I'm not ready to try it either. Of course Scott could be way off on his assessment. Simpler times could be fun, but I'm not ready to give up my running water and flushing toilet. Plus in simpler times, could they see any better? Or did they just not realize they couldn't see?

Thanks for the moment of insanity....back to reality, I think. :)

They don't get my looks but....

2009-02-13T15:20:00.001-08:00

they get my eyes!

Today I took Lindsey and Dejah to the eye doctor. Lindsey approached me a few days ago and said it was hard for her to see the white board at school. She made it very light and was acting as if it was no big deal. I WANTED to ignore it. I started wearing glasses in kindergarten. I guess the fact she is almost 11 should make me feel good, right?

Today, she was really excited that she could see. You know the big thing they put in front of you to test your vision? She was like "COOL I can see!". Poor thing! She got to pick out some cute blue frames. She is actually excited about them. I hope she thrives on being able to see and doesn't get hung up on the fact she "has to wear glasses".

Dejah will be needing glasses soon too. She has astigmatism too (like Lindsey and I). She is only at about 20/25-30 or so. The doc said he doesn't recommend glasses unless you are at 20/40 or higher. So she is spared the glasses for another year or so.

I had Lasik done about 6yrs ago and we have not had glasses in our house for that long. None of the kids remember them or how I was so protective over them. We will be entering a new phase in our house again. I have an appointment for my eyes too. The doc did let me sit in the chair and read a line or two. He said I will probably fail my vision test when I go renew my drivers license. NICE!!!!!!!!! He was surprised that it is my distance vision and not my close vision. I am getting old you know. I should be needing reading glasses soon...given my history and all. I DID get a 6yr break from 24yrs of glasses/contacts. That was so wonderful, I tell ya. I hope I can push it out further. One can dream right?

Does she look like me?

2009-02-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my sister in law today and she thinks Lindsey looks like me. She saw a picture of me my sophmore year in highschool and thought she saw Lindsey in me. What do you think?

SEVENTEEN DAYS till she is 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIgh!

Valentine Week

2009-02-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

This week has been a fun one for me. I decided last week I wanted to do somehting special for Scott all week. Last Saturday we went out on our Valentine's Date. My mom watched the kids and we went to dinner and a movie. Our date was done, yet I wanted to so something little each day. I found the idea at Familyfun.com.

Monday was "Orange you glad I love you?" I made him his favorite cookies of all time and took them to him. Orange slice cookies!

Tuesday it was "I'm nuts about you" and I gave him pistachios, his favorite nut.

Today, Wednesday, he got a "Honeydew" list. Okay, I didn't give HIM a list, I gave him an opportunity to write a list for me. I did give him stipulations though, I do have 30#s of beef to can and also I have a cold.

Thursday, is "You're always in my heart" and he will get some artichoke hearts, another favorite. Yumm!

Friday is "Olive you", I'm going to find him so gourmet greek olives, probably at Sunshine Market in Orem.

Saturday, well it isn't totally decided and I girl has to have a secret or two, right?

This has been a fun week, thinking of just little things to make his day a bit brighter. I know these are huge things, but I have seen a light in his eyes when he looks at me. It is a bit brighter. I have been extremely lucky, that light has always shown bright for me. It is fun to see it brighten a bit, jsut by the little acts of service.

I love, Scott so much and am so thankful for him in my life! He definately completes me!

Type A personality?

2009-02-03T08:45:00.000-08:00

I was talking to Alicia the other day and how she likes to have things planned out. I don't. I guess it is a good thing the Gospel has certain guidelines to keep me in check. Okya, I'm not that bad. LOL!

It got me thinking about how I am so scattered brained. IF I planned things better I bet I wouldn't be as bad. AS BAD....

this morning Journey came in with her groundhog she made at pre school and said "we all have to make the same thing, why?" Hu oh! She is like me. She was saying she wants to do something different. So I guess I need to explain to her she can still be different. She can color her groundhog brown or purple. She wants to color it "right", so brown it is. It did have blue eyes though. :) She is feeling like she has to do everything like everyone else. She is definately different and has a streak of independence that runs deep, yet she has a dominate streak that wants to please. I hope she can find a good balance of it.

ICE!

2009-02-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

So what happens when your gutter spout is full of ice and the sun melts the snow on the roof?

The water drips forming icicles. Then the water also melts and drips to the ground below.

This is what happens when this happens on the NORTH face of your house. It becomes a hazard! I need a big orange cone! I have learned from past experience to stay away from ice. This "puddle" is right in front of my van, so I walk around the van to get to the garbage cans. BUT the exahust of my van will drip water (melted ice) and ice will form behind the van.

So to all my friends and neighbors....beware of my driveway! Next year I will think of something to prevent this hazard. I bet I said that last year too. HMMMMM!

Us

2009-02-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to get a picture of Scott and I for a while. Lindsey took this one of us before church this morning. Here we are together in a picture! I think it has been about a year since the last one!

FaceBook

2009-01-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

Okay who was it?! Who did it? Heather? Alicia? Who do I blame? That place is NUTS! Absolutely NUTS! I have a personality that I guess would make me an alcoholic! Seriously! Good thing I don't drink.

Well, really I would like to thank you. I have found some old friends on there, i doubted I would ever see again. It has been so fun to catch up and relive moments. I have found some from Austin, that actually live HERE. Can you believe it? Okay so I'm sure you can, after all we share religion.

I think Face Book is great and terrible! I'm addicted! Totally! But I'm glad because I am reconnecting with some great people. So thank you!

BTW, I lost TWO pounds! :)

I don't think I lost

2009-01-28T18:06:00.000-08:00

So it has almost been a week since I joined weight watchers. My pants actually feel tighter! Nope, not pleased one bit about that! I have been doing decent. You know it is hard to change habits in a week, but I have worked hard. Drank lots of water and ate my veggies. I started out by losing 5lbs but I was down with the tummy bug. I kept it off 'til Tuesday. At the doc on Monday (gastro check up) the scale said 149lbs with my shoes on. WOHOO! My scale says different. :D I thought I fixed it to go with the WW one.

This is the first week, this is the first week! I am trying to figure out what my goal weight will be. The book says 107-137lbs. I think 107 is too low. I was 110lbs when I got married. I still think that is too low. Maybe I will jsut go with how I feel, sounds good right? I am thinking more towards the 120s somewhere. I want something that is maintainable. PLUS 124lb is a 24lb loss and that would be 2lbs a week for 12wks. Doable? Probably.

Maybe I'll have good news tomorrow.

Holiness to the Lord

2009-01-25T14:50:00.001-08:00

Before you read this post, please turn your speakers off. The music here does not go with the spirit of this post at all!

When we lived in Washington we were able to go to the Columbia River Temple open house. At the time we lived only 5 minutes from it. We would go regularly and watch the progress. We took our kids through. I was pregnant with Katie at the time so Lindsey and Dejah were too young to remember. That was November 2001, less than a month before Katie was born. They don't remember it.

Last night, I guess late afternoon, we drove up to Draper and went to the chapel we were assigned to meet at. Apparently there were three meeting houses that people would meet at and watch a short 12 minute movie. Scott's brother and his family met us there. His other brother's family was not able to come. Heather and her family came instead. I was thankful I could pass the tickets on to someone else. They needed seven and that is what I had extra. Worked out wonderfully.

It was VERY busy! Because the busi-ness of it they had a "silent" tour. The WA one was not silent. I really liked having the spoken tours. It was hard to keep my kids together to talk to them. I think my favorite part was when Katie had to use the bathroom. We had to go angainst the flow to find a bathroom. Why was this my favorite part? I was alone with ONE child and could talk to her about things.

I don't know if it is the same with all the "smaller" temples or not, but here (Draper and Columbia River) you move rooms (endowment). So I tried to explain the her what the rooms were for. I have to laugh when I told her we would be going into the Celestial room next (not sure what I was thinking at the moment). It was not the celestial room. I had explained to her that it would be brighter and more beautiful. So when we went out she was so confused...it was NOT the Celestial room. She said "uh mom, this room is just like that one (pointing)". So it is. You could hear her gasp when she did walk into the Celestial room though. I knew it would happen.

The complete beauty, peace and separation from the world is absolutely incredible in the walls of the temple. Last night was only a portion of it. How do you explain that to a child. They felt it, yet haven't felt it completely. One day they will, leave the world behind and really enter the Temple.

I am so thankful for Temples. For the Priesthood, the blessings found in those walls. The opportnity that I have had and have to attend and renew my covenants with my Father. To feel the love He has for his children. It is breath taking to think about HOW much he loves and knows us. He WANTS us to be with him. He has made that possible.

I used to go to the Temple 2X a month and have not been since before Christmas, I have been missing that in my life. I want to renew that effort and make a point to go regularly again. I need it and so do the people I could be helping. I need the peace. My family needs that peace in me, it radiates!

Karate???

2009-01-21T07:10:00.000-08:00

My sweet, shy little girl wants to take Karate. She has been asking me to get her in classes for over a week, multiple times a day. Part of me thinks "COOL! This will bring her out of her shell", the other part makes me nervous for her shyness. Can she handle the firmness? Then, I think this would be a GREAT opportunity for her to extend herself.

Oh the worries of being a mom. I lover her and want to protect her from the world. I guess, there are somethings she can learn in the world.

Anyone know where I should sign her up for a trial period?

Funny face day!

2009-01-20T12:32:00.000-08:00

All Creatures Great and Small

2009-01-17T16:36:00.000-08:00

Today we burried Teeka. Have been feeling rather guilty for taking her life when she was realatively healthy and happy. I had been feeling like I should have tried to find a home for her. Just feelign I should have done more. Today that all melted away. I think she was here today as we celebrated her life. She had a great life with us. She played her heart out while she was younger and was able to be a lazy cat in her older age. She was always full of love. THAT is what I felt today.

We sang "All Things Bright and Beautiful" at her "funeral". Scott picked it and it was perfect.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all.

1. Each little flow'r that opens, Each little bird that sings, He
Made their glowing colors He made their tiny wings:

She was definately beautiful and great in our eyes. To think about how we are blessed by a Loving Father in Heaven with his creations is an amazing thing. HE absolutely loves his children and his creations. We are so blessed to know the plan of Salvation and to know we are literally His spirit children. My patriarchal blessing mentions how I should take notice of the beautiful things of Earth. Teeka was one of those "things". To know that His creations are for US, is very comforting. They can make us happy. Living in the location where we do was done on the beauty aspect. We have been given so much if we just take a moment to look around. Teeka brought joy to my family, to me. Personally I think she is the most beautiful cat. Her personality was beautiful too. She was mostly full of love with a hint of fiestiness.

Scott said a prayer, it was perfect! He blessed the grave for protection from being dug up by our sweet dog. Thanked HEavenly Father for sending her to us and all the years of fun and joy she provided. WE all were able to share memories of our friend.

After our little funeral/ celebration of her life. I felt as if Teeka had forgiven me and I could release the guilt. I felt uplifted and peace. I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent His Son to Earth so that we could return to him. I know God lives as does Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the attonement and the resurection. I know I can live again. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Goodbye Teeka

2009-01-14T14:23:00.000-08:00

Today was the day. I took Teeka to the vet to be put to sleep. My kids still don't know. I'm not sure how to tell them.

This morning started like any other and I knew I had been putting this off. I wanted to do this while the kids were at school. Friday and Monday are no school days. I knew if I didn't act it would be another week before I would do it. I didn't want to be the one to do it. I also knew that Scott wouldn't do it.

Scott had been giving her the cold shoulder pretty much for a week. She was MORE HIS cat than mine. He was the one she would go to immediately. She did sleep on MY head though, probably because Scott would never "let her". Like I have a say while I'm alseep. hehe I had even asked him WHY it had to be me. Now, I feel like alittle kid "WHY ME?". He is more practical and probably could have done this better than me. BUT, I knew it had to be me.

I wanted to be the one she saw last who was touching and petting her. I guess I am a glutten for for punishment. In reality, I have known people who have had pets put down and I thought it wouldn't be THAT hard. I will never think that again. It is a loss, no matter how you look at it. It isn't like flushing a fish or burrying a hamster you jsut got a month ago. This is different. It is like part of you has been taken away. That part was removed because you couldn't handle it anymore...you did it. You asked them to kill your family member. It hurts! I KNOW, I didn't have much of a choice and I keep saying that over and over again as I think about feeling her slip away.

The vet talked to me for a few minutes, wondering why I was putting a "healthy" cat down. He had treated her before and was familiar with our saga. He understood and even agreed it was a good option given her age. It would be hard to find a pet free home to give her too with her peeing problem. So he went to get a tech to help. It hought it would be a quick shot in the scruff of the neck. It is actually done intrevenusly so he had to find a vein in her leg. I didn't get to hold her like I wanted but I was petting her and holding her head. I told her "thank you for being in my family" and asked her to "forgive me". I know it was quick, probably faster than I thought it was. They gave me some time to say my good byes. I picked her up and didn't want to put her down.

I was a mess. I couldn't seem to compose myself for a while. I knew I couldn't face my children yet. I had arranged for Alicia to pick Journey up from pre-school and Heather watched Bryan. I am so thankful for such dear friends who will let me call and dump on them. I now can keep my composure and not think too much about it. I did come home and find Teeka's last meal still on my bed where I left the plate of canned food. That made me cry. So I am hidden in here writing my feelings down.

I thought Scott was so very practical and wouldn't be phased. I could hear a tinge of soberness in his voice. I KNOW this will be harder on him than he will admitt. He taught her how to fetch. They were buds!

The vet told me to tell the kids Teeka had a kidney disease that could not be cured and needed to be put down. Wich he said could be the case. I think they will understand that. But for now we are not sure how to breach this subject. Please if you see my kids don't say anything to them about Teeka yet. We will pick up her body on Saturday so we have bought ourselves some time. She hides a lot so the kids won't know today unless we decide to tell them.

Teeka was part of our family...like another child almost. She will be missed. I hope that the plan of salvation takes into account our beloved pets. We were her only "humans". She will be missed very much.

Robin's the best!

2009-01-13T13:43:00.000-08:00

Robin took this pic after she finished. Isn't she AWESOME!!!

Before and after

2009-01-12T15:58:00.000-08:00

My friend Robin colored my hair today. The plan was to cut it too...that will be tomorrow if all goes well. So today she colored my hair and did my brows. I LOVE it! She parted it on the opposite side as normal for me. I like it though!

Poor thing, I ran out of there fighting with Bryan, trying to get to the School for book fair duty and I didn't get the full effect of the new do as it was still really wet. I left with a "I can't tell if I like it yet, it is still too wet and dark". I think I had her thinking I didn't like it. It is dry now and I can see all three colors in it now. LOVE IT!

Before!

After!

Thank you Robin! You Rock! Now I need to figure out something to do for you.

measured this morning

2009-01-12T09:11:00.000-08:00

I have been debating wether to put up my measurements, as an incentive to get moving. The debate is on in my head....not that anyone REALLY wants that much info...right? SO I will hold of a few days....lol! Maybe I will just post what I have lost. That sounds like a better deal...right?

Not that I need anyone saying..."have your hips shrunk?"...darn things!

See...random thoughts...all about this blog...my random thoughts.

Poor planning?

2009-01-10T13:42:00.000-08:00

This is supposedly a real picture of a Burger King. No meAt? That is BAD! So is it poor planning, food shortages, just in time ordering, trucking issues or just the people in that neighborhood eating out too much?

He really does say funny things

2009-01-09T17:19:00.001-08:00

"Mom, take a picture of me", then he runs away.

"Mooommmmyyy...I Lub you", with a big hug and kiss. This happesn about 8 times a day. Today however was different. That cute little boy got mad at me. I let him run around without changing his diaper and clothes so long we were in a hurry to get Journey from pre-school. He didn't want me to change his clothes, so I tossed them to him and told HIM to change his own clothes. A few minutes later he is STILL not changed. So I started pulling his clothes off, got his diaper changed. He says "I don't want to wear a diaper!" Oh cool! You wanna go pee pee in the potty? "no, my bottom is not big, I can't go in the potty". HUH???? Then he tells me he doesn't like me. UGH! Not this phase! All the way to get Journey he is bawling. All about me changing his clothes! Dang it! I would look back and he would say "I don't like you!"

Okay he acts like that when he is hungry. BUT he had just eaten a second bowl of cereal. Hmmmmm. We had to be at the school not long after getting Journey so we ran to Smith's (grocery store) and ate at their deli. guess what he is saying after eating? "I LUB you mommy!" Are you still mad at me? He slowly shakes his head.

It is so funny how they just want to have amind of their own. They want to be the ones to say "It's time to get dressed" or "it's time to go". They want control. Unfortunately so do I.

I love the "I lub you mommy!" Melts my heart. There isn't much that is better than having your child say that and give you a big hug. It is the best! It makes those fights worth it. Hmmm, that sounds funny.

It felt like a modeling shoot

2009-01-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

A while back I was talking to a friend (Merrilee!) and told her I used to ALWAYS wear make-up and had my nails painted RED. I had long gargantuan nails...MINE not fake. Yes, I am a bit different now. LOL! Below are my senior pictures. These are pictures of untouched proofs. The one I got, isn't even in these. It is funny, that even today I see the zit on my cheek. It still pops out at me to say hello.

This seemed like a glamour shot thing or a modeling shoot. It was REALLY fun. They told me to bring something i normally wore and something I didn't normally wear. That bright shirt was my FAVORITE! The leather skirt, well...it was mine, but I didn't like to wear it. The black blouse was something I didn't normally wear (oh really?)

I dug these out because I had been visiting with my friend yesterday and I told her "There is a sexy thing under all this". See...here she is, too bad she is 18!

Happy Birthday Heather!

2009-01-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

Heather, you know age is a number, what really counts is how you feel inside. I know you are feeling pretty good right now. Way to go! Life is good, isn't it!?

I thought you would get a kick out of this video. Sorry it has a bit of narration in the begining and end. I couldn't find a "clean" one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Girl! Hope it rocks!

Temple lights

2009-01-05T08:54:00.000-08:00

My sister Julie....

Trees infront of the assembly hall

Our Family

Not just a cat

2009-01-01T07:40:00.000-08:00

Teeka has been in our family for over 10yrs. Lindsey was only 10 months old when she and I went to a small pet store in Richland Washington to look at kittens. Tani, our kitty we brought with us from Maui had an accident with cyototes. At that point our pets nidn't last much longer than a year. We had had a snake in Austin, it somehow got out of it's cage. Never found it, sigh. Some parents we were going to be huh?

Teeka was the only tri color kitten. The others seemed to be "boring" Tabby. Of course Lindsey liked her. I called Scott at work and he drove down to approve the newest member of our family. She was paid for and off we went home. She was definately one of a kind. She would play fetch! I had never seen a cat play fetch. I was in awe. She loved Lindsey and would curl up with her. Each child we had she would curl up to while they were teeny babies. We even have a picture of her curled up on a friends baby in his carrier. She loved people! Especially babies. She was fairly social and fun. She did not do well with other cats. We got her a "friend", she ignored us after that. That cat had an accident with cyototes too. (each time we heard they cyotoes howling, we lived on the edge of the dessert) She became herself after that...loving and playful.

We moved to Utah three years ago August and stayed with Scott's brother. They had a cat who we tried to keep her secluded from. We did pretty well, till he found away into our room. One of them PEED on our bed. NICE! I immediately blamed it on their cat. MY cat never peed on anything. That was only the begining. She is a tri color tortise shell...I have heard Calico cats don't play well with others. I think it is true. She seemed to adjust well to our new home when we moved. She did notlike going outside much. So she became pretty much became and indoor only cat. We had no problem with it. She was happy.

Two years ago we got Nala. Nala, is the perfect dog, besides her jumping fence ablities. Teeka, immediately changed! She was eight years old and set in her ways. Other than the hamsters she had been and only pet. Do hamsters count? THe changes were not good ones. She started peeing on things. You name it she would pee on. Most of the time it was dirty clothes in the girls rooms. At first I was happy it was on things that could be tossed in the washing machine. It was more and more frequent. I learned vinegar worked well in the rinse cycle. She peed on the couch pillows, luckily they were washable. She peed on clothes on the couch and it soaked THROUGH the clothes into the couch. Unfortunately the couch is NOT washable. Sprays only work for so long. The problem is she remarks everything. It isn't an one time job and she is done.

SO for two years she has peed on things about twice a week. I ahve been known to say "I'm going to kill myself a cat", "shes dead" and the most recent was "I'm ready to put her to sleep!". Well, last night, Scott, the most calm person about this (he doesn't do laundry) came in and said "I'm ready to put her to sleep". Immediately I started to bawl!

I have never had anyone REALLY close to me die. A friend in highschool, that was about it. I have lost pets, my two cats that I'd had for about a year, hamsters, and of course fish. Last night was so hard for me. It seemed to me like it would be murder. Of course I was all talk before, when Scott was all calm and didn't call my bluff. After talkign about it we have decided it would be better for her to be put down than to become an outside cat in below freezing temps. Since it is problems with peeing and jealousy (over the dog) it isn't like putting her in the the garage would be helpful. We have taken to tossing her outside (where she is now) when we find she has peed on something. She disapears for a while (24-48hrs). We worry about her while she is gone. We have NO clue where she goes to be safe from the dogs (some roam) and to stay warm. SO we have decided a quick painless death would be better than being scared, cold and hungry. If she was out permanantly we would not see her again. Her posh life would be over as she knows it.

She's 10 how many people would want to take on a 10yr old cat who has a peeing problem, even if it is because of a dog? I can't think of any? How can I not be honest about her issues? I don't want to lie and then the new family give her to someone else. I would prefer her to see us as her family as she passes. Not abandoned. I'm not sure if we will wait to have Scott's dad do it or if we will take her to someone here.

I feel so guilty, because she is so sweet and loves us. If we had not accepted Nala, I think she would be fine. Nala, has become as much or more part of our family as she has. It is hard to choose, but she is destroying things. She has lived a good life and I believe would be happier in another place. Maybe I'm trying to justify killing my cat.

I love you, Teeka!

Sisters

2008-12-29T07:42:00.000-08:00

I have two sisters. Both are half sisters, one 11yrs younger the other 17yrs younger than me. In reality they are strangers to me. How is that family members can be strangers? That is my reality. I am strangers pretty much with all my family, except my mom (but that wasn't always so).

I think I have spoken to my sister (11yrs younger) a few times in the past 13 1/2 years. That is when I got married. She was 10. It is hard to be something to someone when you aren't allowed to call home. Shortyly after Scott and i were married, my step mom decided we were no longer welcome. So in a sense we were disowned. She made it extremely hard on my dad. Pretty much we were estranged from him "to save the marriage". I was "okay" with it. I felt my dad saving his marriage was more important. I began my family, and I wanted him to have his. I didn't realize how hard it would be. I stopped talking to pretty much everyone, both brothers and my sister too. Funny thing is, same thing happened to my brother (blood) when he got married. He stayed in Austin area though. I left.

My other sister, is pretty much self explanitory. She is 17 years younger than me. She was born my senior year in highschool. My mom was not married and that went against all I had been taught. I was MAD. I stopped talking to my mom. When I got married my sister was four. Scott and I watched her once before we moved to Maui. When I talked to my mom, I didn't talk to my sister much. When I did it was jsut a short conversation. Nothing to really build a relationship on, a real one. I knew I loved her, but didn't know her.

In June, my mom moved to Utah. My sister, who is a senior and 17 (same age I was when she was born), moved to Austin to live with her dad. Still, not much of a chance to get to know her. NOW, she is here. I am so struggling...How in the world do you get to know a 17 year old? Seriously? She has been here for a week and I haven't made much headway. What does she like to do? Text her boyfriend apparently! What do we have in common? A mom, that is about it, it seems. I am determined to make this happen. I want it to.

While I was mad I missed a lot of things. I missed my two sisters grow up. I'm not sure I could help missing one. I definately could have taken more time on the other one even if it was by the phone or email as she got older. I am to blame for that. I could have tried to keep in contact with my brothers too. Atleast one needed me.

I have decided to not be so selfish or self centered and try hard to regain the family ties I once had. I have told myself over and over it was my step mom's loss. Apparently along the way, I lost myself and a majority of my family trying to seperate myself from someone who has chosen to not be part of my life. I left the othes behind when I did so. Some I didn't have a choice, the others were adults like me and could make their own choices. I lost my brothers too. That is a whole other story.

While all this was happening years ago, I clug to my husbands family. They seemed whole. Sure every family has issues, but they seemed perfect. No divorce and close knit. They were happy to have me. I left mine behind...it hurts now. Time to make changes.

will it work?

2008-12-26T17:28:00.000-08:00

testing

Got snow?

2008-12-26T17:10:00.000-08:00

These pictures were taken Tuesday(23rd), Wednesday (24th) and Friday(26th) Fun snow...I wonder how high it will get? The jeep is inoperable at the moment so it won't be cleared to be driven. Oh wait, it is a bit cold with not top anyway.

Been thinking....

2008-12-21T18:54:00.000-08:00

I know, I know...scarey eh?

I have been thinking about all the things that make my life good. Today I told Scott, life is good. He wondered what our future held. I told him sincerely that wahtever it held it would still be good. Many people think we are doom and gloom about the economy and future. Really we aren't, things have to get bad before they get bettter. It is what is far (or not so far)ahead that makes the difficulties so worth while to go through.

First of all, Scott makes my life good. Good is not the right adjective at all. He is perfect for me. Absolutely and totally perfect. I know we were led to eachother. Things happened in our lives that led us to Austin to meet. He was 27 and single and was working full time for IBM, but only on a temporary basis. I had just returned from Idaho with an associates degree and with plans to serve a full time mission. Niether of us were looking for a relationship (so unlike me!). We happened to meet his first Sunday in town. Granted my family was all in Austin at the time, his was not. For those of you that know Scott, know he has beautiful puppy dog eyes. I'm a sucker for eyes! I'm not shy either...so I walked up to him and introduced myself. Of course I had help... a friend had been talking to him previously and I heard part of his conversation. We were pretty much inseparable since then. We had our first "date" that night, thanks to the same friend. EEK! Two months later we were engaged! Nine months after meeting we were married in the Dallas Texas Temple for time and all eternity. That was 13.5yrs ago. The best descion I EVER made was that day to talk to the cute guy with Puppy dog eyes. God did the rest.

Next, my children. Each one brings something different to the mix. I have GREAT kids. Again my vocabulary fails me. People tell me all the time that I have good kids. They are amazed at how much they know, how sweet and kind they are. Sometimes I think, "my child?". In reality I could not ask for any better children. Lindsey, the oldest, is very independent and responsible. She has a heart of gold. Dejah, is my shy one. She LOVES everyone and is huggy...yes, I know I said she as shy. Katie, is the one that is the most like me (when I was a child), ouutgoing, unafraid and picky. Journey is always happy, always smiling, and hoping to help. Bryan, poor poor boy. He is the youngest and only boy. He is so different than the girls (oh really?). He is in constant motion and is lover. He is always saying "I love you momma!" and giving hugs. Yes, I have good kids. I think my Father in Heaven KNEW what I needed. I just hope it contiues...I am hitting the tween age with my oldest. EEK!

The gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful to know I have a loving Father in Heaven who loves me. Who sent His son as a sacrifice on my behalf. I know, He preformed the attonement for each of us. He is God's Son. He lives as we will live again through the resurection. I am thankful for a living prophet on the Earth. President Thomas S. Monson is Heavenly Father's spokesman on Earth. He is led by God.

I have so much in my life that makes my life good. The above are the three major ones. I have many dear friends who make life good. The fact I don't have any needs that are not being met is a big one too. I have more in my life than so many people. I thank Heavenly Father daily for thse blessings.

With all the blessings that I have, I feel, I should be doing more to make life good for others. I will.

Ham

2008-12-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

I like Ham. I actually like ham more than turkey. Good thing, look what I have. 100% pure HAM!

Bry has never been one to take a bath. Only out of my desire for a quick clean kid. Bryan probably has taken only a couple of handfuls of baths in his life. He loves the shower...has since he was a baby. I guess he didn't have much of a choice. OOPS! And he loves the camera.

He loves his momma too. He has been sick th epast couple of days and he came in our room about 5am and said "I need a kiss". I wanted to say "go to bed!" but he came over and let his momma give him a kiss on the top of his head. He went back to bed for about 15min, then asked for a drink of water. I prefered the kiss, I didn't have to get out of bed for that one. hehehe

Traditions

2008-12-18T20:04:00.000-08:00

Dejah had to do a little report on Family traditions. I was thinking really hard about what kinds of traditions we have. I had a difficult time thinking about what we do over and over again, that could be called a tradition.

The only one I could think of was our Christmas stockings. Starting with our first Chirstmas together way back in 1995 (way back...someday that will be true). We made our stockings and decorated them with felt pieces. Pieces we cut and designed ourselves. We did so for each child too (well we bought Lindsey's stocking). Each one we tried to make special to their birth or something about them. Some were harder than others. Lindsey has a palm tree with bells. SHe was born in Hawaii. Katie has a temple...she was born soon after the Columbia River Temple was dedicated. Bryan has more boy stuff, trains. Journey's has a puppy...it was her favorite stuffed animal. She still ahs it. Dejah has puzzle pieces.

I think our most important stocking that we have made is the one that has JESUS written on it. Each Christmas Eve we all write on a piece of paper something we want to GIVE Jesus. The little kids would draw a picture or have us write on the paper. Things have been like "I'll be nicer to my sisters", "I will listen to my mom", "I will read the Scriptures more", "I will say my personal prayers", or "I'll do my chores without being asked". It is fun. THis year, I pulled out last years. It is fun to think about how we want to be better and strive to improve ourselves. What better gift can we give our Savior than constant improvement.

I guess some of our other traditions are, church attendance, eating dinner as a family (even if we wait for dad till 7:30), reading scriptures together,and family prayer. They don't have to be big things. Traditions are things that bring the family together.

Merry Christmas!!!

Amazing!

2008-12-18T09:01:00.000-08:00

I told Scott I wanted to go to see Twilight (movie) and he said he would take me. Wow, there! I figured it would be a girls night out type of movie he would refuse to go see.My mom watched the kids for us last night and he took me to see Twilight.

I was sure to say thank you for taking me. See, he is an action type guy. He likes to see things blow up. He is NOT into the romance flicks. I had told him enough about the book that he could follow things. At the end I turned to him and said, "what did you think?". He said "I liked it". WHOA!!! So, we have gone to movies (his kind) and he said "It was okay". So to hear him say he liked it. WHOA!

I knew going in that the movie was NOT going to be a lot like the book. HOW can you make a movie from a book like that? There was BOUND to be big changes! There were. I definately liked the book SOOOOO much more! I was facinated by the Tree scene though. That was gorgeous!

Thanks honey for taking me to see Twilight! You're the best!

Dejah's Christmas Program

2008-12-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

Today was Dejah's Christmas program at school They sang a song I hadn't heard before "Little toy trains". I really liked it! I found a youtube video of Dony Osmond singing it to his baby son. I think it was much better having it sung by 3 third grade classes.

It was so sweet to see my Dejah happy and singing. I got luck to sit right up front where she was. She was one of th dancers too. It was so funny after them dancing the boys and girls all rubbed their fingers then wiped them off on their pants. It was hillarious. I guess they have cooties.