Bright's thoughts

I feel like a teenager waiting for the boy to call. Only this time it is my dad. Will he call or am I wasting my time? He has been in the state (he lives in Texas) and leaves tomorrow. I am feeling pretty crappy tonight since I spoke with him last night and he said "I'll email yout he phone number and some pictures. Maybe we can get together sometime tomorrow". No email and no call. It is now after 6:30pm. I don't think it is coming. I won't bore you with the details of why he hasn't called. Unless he called while I was on the phone gabbing to a friend this afternoon and couldn't get through. But still no email. Seem slike seeing five of his grand children would be at the top of his list. Welp, apparently not. My kids don't even know who he is. I guess that is partly my fault too. I don't talk about him much. I don't know when I'll talk to him or when I'll see him. I can call him and at times he won't call back and w...

Oh my goodness...I have a glass of fresh squeezed OJ in front of me and I have hardly pallet it! It is so intense! They say sip it. Well, duh! Sips are hard to do even. I may water it down. Prior to the cleanse if I had a 8oz glass of fresh squeezed OJ I would down it fast. Hardly savoring the taste. But now, OI! Talk about the most intense taste and feeling! I didn't do the Lax tea last night or the SWF this morning. I feel weird! I read that many experienced MCers do it one last time. I guess next time I will. I will start the probiotics today too to get the bacteria back in my gut. I need to get the good ones in before the bad ones set back. LOL! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probiotics I was at the Health Food store last night and was talking to a gal about the different cleanses....colon, parasite, liver, kidney etc. She said that the MC is a good over all one but not super specific. She recommended in a month or so to do a colon cleans then the parasite one. ...

I cheated a tiny bit yesturday! Only a tiney bit. YESTURDAY was so hard! Yesturday was the anniversary of the mormon pioneers entering the salt lake valley. My family celebrates it by going on a little trek pulling a wheelbarrow like a hand cart and the bike trailer as one too. I usually make some treat that pioneers might have had. I made brown sugar candy (similar to carmel) and scones. I licked my fingers many times while making the candy and had a small pinch of the scone. Yesturdya was my hardest day!!! Everything was so tempting! It ws calling out "eat me eat me!" LOL! I am back on track today and will finsih tonight. Tomorrow I will break my "fast" with OJ then move into soups then solids. I am down 9lbs now and my skin (face mostly) went through the ick phases of puffy, teenage acne type without the zits....just bumpy. Weird stuff to smooth again. My tounge (they say the white is toxins) has gone from pinkish to white to less white not quite tot...

Well, Iw as getting bummed that my tounge was still white. Now it is mostly pink! The coating is super thin. It never got really thick like they say it would. SO I guess, I was doing something right. LOL! I have done super well until just a bit ago. Today is Pioneer Day and it is actually celebrated in Utah. It makes the day that the Mormon pioneers came to the Salt Lake Valley. We have a tradition of going on a little "trek" with the kids. We pull a wheelbarrow and another wagon. We have anscetery that came across in the Martin Handcart company, so we try to celebrate their life. I decided to make some candy for them that ws on a pioneer food website. Well, I ended up licking my fingers SEVERAL times. A couple were even intentional! Dang it! It was BROWN SUGAR candy. Similar to carmel. YUM! I am excited to have it done! 10 days will be tomorrow! I will go ahead and do the Lemonade in the AMs and help continue the cleansing process. YEAH Day ten is soon at ...

Each night on the MC you drink and herbal tea (lax tea) with Senna in it. I use SMOOTH MOVE. You are only supposed to steep it for about 10 minutes. Well, last night I forgot about it and left it for atleast TWENTY! Well, the stronger it is the sooner it will wake you up. It woke me up at 3:30 AM. GOODNESS!!!! I do have to say there is a bunch more crap in there! So beware how long you steep it. I hadn't had cramps with it until this AM. The SWF seems to be taking longer today again. ?????? Not sure why that is. I am feeling good though. I plan to drink more lemonade and water today. See if I can flus more out since I only have a few days left and I am anxious to return to normalcy with my family, not hiding at meal time. I have read two and a hlf books in the past 8 days though so I am doing good things. LOL! I way behind on laundry though. I have good energy! I need to get moving on the importnt things in the house though. I have been lazing around in my mind...

WOW! I am almost done with day SEVEN! All I can think of is "WOW! How have I done this?" It is amazing how the body adjusts! It really does! Seriously! I have been missing food though. Yesturday, we decided to go to Ogden (about 2hrs North). My Hubby didn't have Breakfast. I had been avoiding leaving the house. I hadn't gone to the store to replenish our cereal supply so the girls had eaten it all before he made it to the kitchen. I needed water (distilled), lemons and maple syrup so I was headed to the store. He said to wait and we would go all at once. SO we all piled in and went to the HEalth food store fist then to the grocery store. His plan was to get pop tarts. So he went in and I stayed out with the kids in the van. He came out with a DOZEN FRESH doughnuts. Oh my goodness!! They smelled just like KRISPY CREAMES! They weren't but oh how heavenly they smelled. He handed them out to the kids and I had to get out and hang out at the bakc of...

I'm struggling this morning! I haven't gone anywhere this week hardly. I walked to a neighbors around the block and when to the gas station to get milk. That is the extent of my travels this week. The sad thing is I could've gone out more earlier this week. I wasn't have BMs in the afternoons until Wednesday. Yesturday, I even had an accident again but it was in the afternoon! So I am nervous to leave the house for longer than 10 minutes. I just drank the SWF it was hard this morning. It is so true that this is mostly mental. I can handle the hunger cause it is minimal. I am a social butterfly and am being cooped up. EEK! I'm seriously thinking this is the end. BUT, am hoping to push through today and get atleast one more day our of the way. Maybe it will get me over the hump. Almost half way there! ALmost! UGH! This is hard! I was thinking, trying to figure out what I will do on Sunday when we have church at 9 and it goes for 3 hours. So I am ti...

Holy cow!!! I'm here and kickin! LOL! Yesturday was a good day. I wasn't very hungry. Did I say that right? Yep, I wasn't very hungry. Strange! I did make a mistake and accidently at a grape. We have grape vines along our back and side fences. The skins are a bit tough and I tasted one to see if they were ripe. I squeezed the inside into my mouth. It wasn't ripe. I didn't even relize what I had done until a bit later. I was picking a plum and thinking "I'd like to taste this plum" then realized I had a taste of grape in my mouth. OOPS! Oh well! I small grape. I didn't really have any detox symptoms yesturday and I was quite active. Today is different. My tummy is hurting...not sure what is up with it. I guess detox symptoms. I think today will be a relaxed day. I do need to do some laundry (okay a lot) but I think that will be about it. I read on the Master Cleanse Forum http://therawfoodsite.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9 so...

My Sister in Law called today and was surprised I was STILL doing it. Hmmm...I think I just got more incentive to do it longer! I was ready to quit this morning! Now I am going strong! I have not been hungry at all today. I was really weak this morning, but have gotten strength back. The SWF worked even better today and is flush more stuff out....no longer like it was yesturday. It was funny last night, I made spagehtii and went to see if it was ready. I usually taste it. I put it in my mouth and immediately thought "oh crud! and ran to the sink and spat it out!" LOL! I made toasted fench bread too. THAT would've been better to cheat with. HMMM, I love french bread and it even better when it has been toasted with butter. YUM! I was really lazy yesturday and took a nap...well, decided to read instead. I read almost the whole book! LOL! I haven't had any major detox symptoms. I am pretty healthy and don't smoke or drink so those don't need to be...

I slept like a log last night! It felt so good! I didn't even wake up when my neighbors went walking. Usually Nala (my dog) barks at them. I did hear her bark at 6:30 when they came home. My bowels started moving about 7am and I went potty and drank my SWF (salt water flush). It was easier this morning. I thought of miso soup. LOL! I laid back down for a bit. SLowly it began to work. It is now 11:20 and I don't think I'm finished with the flush. Skip this part if you don't wnat to know gross details...... my stool was well not stool but mostly liquid. The fluid was almost yellow. The last one I had was really yellow and clear . It was very acid and burned. Okay not so gross now. I have developed a white coating on my tounge, they say it is toxins coming out....gross. They say to continue the cleanse until your tounge is pink again. Could take longer than 10 days. OH! I was NOT hungry this morning! I was still nauseated byt the salt water too...that h...

I began The Master Cleanse by Stanely Bouroughs yesturday. The idea of this cleanse is to "fast" for 10 days with only a few things to drink such as lemonade made with 2T lemon juic (fresh), 2T Grade B maple syrup and 1/10 t cayenne pepper in 8 oz of spring or distilled water. Each night you drink a cup of laxative tea and each morning you drink a quart of water with 2t of sea salt in it. The idea of this cleanse is to clear your body of the toxins built up over time. The lemonade provides the nutrients you need. The Maple syrup provides 50 calories per tablespoon. The cayenne helps clean the blood and the "plaque" build in the intestines. By not eating solid foods it allows the digestive system, kidneys and liver to be cleansed. The systems may focus on cleaneing instead of the "normal" jobs of digesting and cleansing form the "toxic" foods we eat. Below is my day one 7/16/07 The night before I drank a laxative tea "smooth move...

Being LDS you hear to have a year supply of food and prepare for every needful thing. And then there are people who think your nuts if you have anything in a #10 can. What is a #10 can? Okay I have a family of 7 and a #10 can will feed us and leave lunch for the next day. So it really isn't that big! The Red Cross is now recommending a 96hr kit. So maybe if the people effected by Katrina may have been better off if everyone had a 96hr kit. WE have a 72hr kit for each member in our family and take little walks with them. Sure even in an LDS neighborhood I bet people think we are nuts. Hmmm, maybe we are. And I'm okay with that. The LDS church recommends these storage amounts Suggested Amounts of Basic Foods for Home Storage*(Per adult for one year. This list may vary according to location.) Grains(wheat, rice, corn, rolled oats, spaghetti) 400 pounds(181 kg) 72#10 cans(wheat) Legumes(dry beans, peas, lentils) 60 pounds(27 kg) 12#10 cans(beans) Powdered Milk 16 po...

Okay, so since NEw Years we have not experience a single day of total wellness in my house. Sure Scott might not be sick, but everyone else just passes it back and forth! vommitting diareaha fever runny nose stopped up nose cold sore throat cough sneezing hmm...I KNOW I'm forgetting some things! I'm tired of it. Sick and tired of it. SO...maybe home schooling and staying home from church is the answer. Total and complete confinement? Na, I think I would loose what marbles I have left. I can say there aren't many. One, Two, Three, four, Five, Six........hmmm the bag is empty. No seriously, it could be worse. No one is terminally or really crhonically ill (even they are continually sick). We need to count our blessings! I have a friend from a message board who's daughter is VERY sick. http://www.caringbridge.org/ca/ivykate/index.htm Ivy is a beautiful little girl, it is had to imagine what she is going through. This sweet little girl has many blessings too. ...

I contacted a seller on Ebay about MODEST Barbie clothes and she set up a special acution for me. I WISH I would have talked to her about price and a BUY IT NOW so I could get it. INstead she started it at $.99 and made it go for 24hrs. I bid $5.01 and by this morning the bidding was WAY out of my price range! The clothes she picked were great...about as modest as you could get for Barbie. So now with 11hrs left the clothes are at $21 with $5.45 shipping!!! She included a gorgeous Christmas dress...I'm sure that is the big seller. I am jsut so bummed! It even says in the auction that it was a special request. TOO BAD it was an auction! I will miss out on this modest lot!

I was reading somewhere last night about love notes. I have found myself knitpicking and realized the best way to stop ws to sit down and write a not to my husband. That is what I did last night. I sat down and wrote him a sweet "why I love you" note. And you know what? I feel better. I left it on his pillow, he didn't say anything about it, but I know he read it. I hope he felt the love I have for him. He has given me so mcuh and I am so bless to have a dear husband that loves and adores me. When I look in his eyes, I see the same person I did when I knelt across the alter 11.5yrs ago. His eyes are just as bright and loving. He has those gorgeous puppy dog eyes that can make me melt. He still makes me melt! I love yo Scott!

I am really in a bad mood and am crying. The only thing I can think of to make it go away is to sit here and write the things I am thankful for. My two little girls that just came in to tell me what their little brothe was doing. The joy they get from simple things. "he's sucking on a straw" Knowing that we AREN'T starving even when THEY think they are. We have more than enough food. Our needs are met. We have a comfortable home in a beautiful location. Gorgeous view from my kitchen. I find peace in Heavenly Father's creations. What a joy it is to know that we have a Heavenly Father that loves his Children so much that he has created a world full of beauty. If the Earth is so beautiful what is the Celestial Kingdom like? Seems like it would be beyond our comprehension. I have live in Maui and have seen some absolutely magnificant places and things there....I jsut can't even imagine the enormity of the beauty in the Celestial world. Knowing we have a...

POOP!!! Baby poop, puppy poop and cat poop! Okay I can handle baby poop. That comes with being a mom, right? I guess the other two come with being an owner. Retaliation is was really bugs! We are currently puppy sitting a beautiful little pryeepoo (great pryanese poodle mix) and my cat does NOT like her. My cat a gorgeous calico/tortoise shell, long hair kitty. She HATES other cats and now dogs. She use to only howl (?) at Nala (the pup) then last night she took to hissing and swatting. Then this morning....We woke to POOP all over the floor in our room and in the closet. PPPPUUUU! Not a nice thing! The two days prior to this I had cleaned up dog poop in my room and in her kennel (in the basement). BLECH! I vomited at that it w'as so nasty! Is this my lot in life until we no longer have the pup? Revenge! Can she me so mad at us that she continues? Dh said the other day, I think she can handle a dog just not another cat.. I think he is wrong. Once we had another cat and all she did ...

Have you ever had domething happen that just seems to get bigger and bigger? Well, I am experiencing this and I don't like it. Two weeks ago a friend of mine said "I noticed you were holding your tummy. Is there something you want to tell me?" I thought "HUH???" Then it connected. "uh, no. I have been having the runs, if you need to know". Fast forward, Scott had been out of town last week and I rolled out of bed and noticed my tummy seems bigger. UH!!!! Not cool! I am gaining weight and my flab seems to be getting flabbier (is that a word?). Why am I gaining weight? I odn't own a scale so I'm not 100% sure ont he weight gain..just seem to be getting a low tire. Fast forward again, I had a dream I was pregnant. UGH!!! That is something I am happy to NOT do again. We really feel we are a complete family. I didn't feel that prior to Bryan. I do now. I haven't had the "there's one more feeling". Which I must ...

I guess I am PMSing. I am just frustrated at a bunch of things. 1st I have jury duty on Monday and my babysitters are all going to be out of town. 2nd I picked 6 buckets (food storage buckets) of apples to make apple sauce and I can't make it. 3rd I found out at 1:30 that my inlaws are coming and my hubby has asked me to have a major cleaning party. Hmmmm...and HE plans to be home at 7pm. They aren't coming over until tomorrow sometime but with Confrence I won't be cleaning tomorrow. 4th My SIL is moving to England and I have been helping her clean (7 hours) past few days. So I've been cleaned out. 5th See #3 and know DH isn't helping at all with any cleaning even while I was helping my SIL. :( 6th I'm trying to get my girls to clean but they are refusing to listen! Well....good thing is Lindsey is listening. She has been a tremendous help. 7th BIL totalled his Jeep Liberty this week....somehow though he was not majorly hurt. 8th Bryan has been teethi...

Here I sit in an empty house. I can hear my neighbors kids playing outside and think they are mine. My family went to help my BIL move. I am waiting on a ride to go to the General Women's Broadcast in SLC. My sweet hubby took aall th kids with him. I ahve NO clue hat he plans on accomplishing with a 10mo old baby with him. But I am ejoying the calm that is in my house. It does however feel empty in another way. Not just physically empty. It is as if part of me is gone too. I know I should be savoring the moments I get of this peace and quiet. They don't come often enough...BUT not having someone need me every five seconds is a bizarre feeling. I'm not sure it suits me. I love my children and it is strange to have them all gone. What will I be like as an empty nester? Luckily that comes in time not all at once. My husband is a wonderful man. I'm greatful he is allowing me this time to just sit and ponder. This quiet time reminds me what I am thankful for....